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The Sawdust Queen 



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••PYRIttHT, laet, BY WALTER H. BAKBR 4 ••■ 






THF AMA70NS Farce tn Three Acts. Seven males, dire lemaies* 
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a full evening. 

THE CABINET MINISTER l'Zl^ZtS:s,Z^::S^': 

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Costumes, modem ; scenery, two interiors. Plays 
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The Sawdust Queen 



A Circus Play in Three Acts 



By 
DANA J. STEVENS 

Author of ''Old Acre Folk;' ''Plain People^' 
"Miss Drusildas Enemy;' etc. 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 

1910 



The Sawdust Queen 

CHARACTERS * ^ <^^4 ^ 

Deacon Matthew Sterling. • I 

Ned Sterling, his son. 

Miss Prudence Prue ") 

xMiss Patricia Prossitt v ///r<?<? maiden ladies, his cousins. 

Miss Patience Prouty ) 

Mr. Silas Hankum, his soiiciior. 

Adanirum George Washington Hobbes, proprietor of ^^The 

Great Forever Circus.'^ 
Toney O'Hara, a7i old cloivn. 

The Herr Professor, acrobat afid flying trapeze man. 
Hulda Schwartz, strong lady and snake charmer. 
Starlight, the saivdust queen. 



SYNOPSIS 



Act I. — Inside the dressing tent of *' The Great Forever 
Circus." 

Act II. — Three days later. The living room in the Sterling 
homestead. 

Act III. — Several days later. Inside the dressing tent 
again. 

NOTE 

The professional rights in this play are strictly reserved and application 
for the right to produce it should be made to the author in care of the 
publishers. Amateurs may produce it without payment of royalty on 
condition that the name of the author appears on all programmes and ad- 
vertising issued in connection with such performances. 




Copyright, 1910, by DANA J. STEVENS 

All rights reserved 

(gGLD 2257G 



The Sawdust Queen 



ACT I 

SCENE. — Itiside the dressing ieiit of the *' Great Forever 
Circus y A large semicircular room representing a typical 
circus tent. The stage is streivn several i?iches deep ivith 
satvdust, and there are various gaudy odds and ends of 
paraphernalia about, including barrels, tubs, sections of a 
trapeze, tueigiits afid dumb-bells, old trunks, an old 
wash-stand and several pails full of water and bits of har- 
ness. At the back of the tent and directly c. is a large paper 
hoop, larger than ordinary size, through which Starlight 
makes her entrance. Against the wall of the tent down r. 
are other hoops of ordinary size made of paper. There are 
three openings into the tent. The upper left hand portion 
of the tent is cut off by a gayly curtained entrance into the 
arena, through ivhtch the characters pass when going into 
the circus for their act. Across the right side of the tent a 
short rope is stretched on tuhich jmmerous odds and ends of 
costumes are hung to dry. Down r., an opening leads to 
the dressing tent of the 7nen. Directly opposite, L., a?i open- 
ing leads to that of women. 

{When the curtain goes up, Toney O'Hara, the cloivn, is 
discovered seated on a large drum, l. c, making up for 
the pejformance. An instant later a loud voice is heard 
calling outside, accompanied with the banging of a drum.^ 

Voice. This way, ladies and gents. All up now and buy 
your tickets for the Great Forever, the greatest show this side 
of the Atlantic. Buy your tickets now. We do not sell dur- 
ing the performance. This way to the great show. Twenty- 
five cents admits to all. You can see the Fat Lady and the 
Human Skeleton, and the whole blooming lot of freaks for one 
price, only a quarter. Only one price, ladies and gents. Get 
your tickets for the great show now about to commence. Step 
right up, gents. Step light up. 

3 



4 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

HuLDA Schwartz (a large, stout, good-7iatured German 
girl looks in from ladies^ dressing tent L.). Are you dere, 
Toney ? 

ToNEY. What's up? 

HuL. My joints, dey are so stiff from my fall, it don't 
seem like 1 can effer do dot stunt again mit der dumb-bells. 
Will you tell der boss, Ja ? 

Toney. I don't dare, Hulda ; everything has gone wrong. 

HuL. Break it to him mit a gentle whisper, Toney. 

Toney. You don't know how things are, Hulda, or you 
wouldn't say that. 

HuL. Ach Himmel ! I know mit myself dot I've got tree 
weeks wages due ter come ter me from somewhere somehow 
from somewhich, and no one ter pay dem, and my man dere 
in Germany 

Toney. Never mind that husband of yours, Hulda. Ex- 
ercise a bit more, limber up a little with the dumb-bells, be- 
fore you cut the show. 

HuL. Mit my pains all ofer me, Ja? If I die it will put 
der show on der bum mit me. What'U I do, Toney? 

Toney. Go tell your trouble to Starlight. 

HuL. She is in der big tent mit herself, rehearsing. 

Toney. With the people going in? 

HuL. I do hope dere will be some peoples dis afternoon. 
I am dot tired of eating circus sandwiches, pink lemonade and 
peanuts. I want my money, or my man in Germany 

Toney. Will send for you to come home, is that it, 
Hulda? 

HuL. Ja. You understand mit me, Toney. \^Exit. 

Voice {^s tar ting up outside, broketi at i?itervals by the beat- 
ing of a druni). Here you go, ladies. This way, gents. 
Tiiis way to the Great Forever. This way for your tickets. 
Step right up. And remember that twenty-five cents is only 
a quarter to see Starlight, the Queen of the Arena, the famous 
circus rider, the ten thousand dollar beauty. Then there's 
Toney, the only clown that really makes you laugh. 

Toney {sadly). When his heart is breaking. 

HuL. {looking in agaiii). He's talking about you, Toney. 

Toney. Yes, and I'm used to it. You'll be too, some day, 
Hulda. 

HuL. Ja, if my man don't find oud dot I vos shipwrecked 
mit der ship in dis America and joined der circus to vork my 
passage money back if I effer ged it. \^Exit, l. 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 5 

{Drum beats outside an instant or two, and then the tent, 
R., is pulled apart and the Herr Professor enters. He 
is arrayed in a gaudy suit of tights and enveloped in a 
long coat.') 

Herr P. Zis beastly New Enland climate, eet eez so cheely. 
Ah, in good old Eetalee eet eez alvays so warm and so sunny 
all zee time. Here eet eez different. Eet do nothing but 
rain, rain, rain all zee time, and zee managair he do swear, 
and everyzing.go to zee devil. 

ToNEY. It isn't much of a prospect to look forward to, is it ? 

Herr P. I can stand zee climate part of eet, but eet eez zee 
monay zat I don't get, zat eez mine. 

ToNEY. You get three meals and your bed and washing. 
Isn't that enough for the present ? 

Herr P. But I can get all zat wiz my monay, myself, eef I 
get eet, yais ? 

Toney. Anyhow, we'll all have to put up with it. Busi- 
ness is rotten and traveling is a thousand times worse. 

Herr P. But 1 do not intend to do zee grand act forever 
wizout zee monay zat I am to haff eef I act. Ovair zere in zee 
grand Eetalee 1 do zee flying trapeze and get my monay efery 
day. 

Toney. How much does Old Hobbes owe you anyhow? 

Herr P. Tree weeks. Feefty dollar. 

Toney. Pooh! Can't you wait? Pa Hobbes is honest. 
He'll pay you as soon as business gets better. 

Herr P. But he swears so. 

Toney. All circus men do. And, come to think of it, 
hasn't the poor man had enough to make him swear? Hasn't 
it rained every day this month except yesterday and to-day ? 

Herr P. Eet eez zee climate. Eet make me sheever when 
I am on zee trapeze in zee act. I 'fraid I fall. 

Toney. And then, as if that wasn't enough to get drowned 
out, the minute we strike this town our team hosses come down 
with the colic, and here we'll set the week out. Isn't that 
enough to make any man by the name of Hobbes swear ? 

Hobbes {heard shouting outside). Here, you numskull, 
that ain't the way ter do anything. Yes, I know you're new, 
but why in the name of all creation and common sense put ter- 
gether don't yer splice that rope riglit? Do yer want the 
whole circus tent ter come down and turn my show into an 
undertaker's morgue ? 



6 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

Herr p. {jvho has been exercising rapidly^ terrified^ all 
during HoBBEs' speecJi). Eet eez zee boss. He makes me vair 
much upset. Heer heem. 

(Herr P. goes up and looks through the tent ope7iing, l. u. e.) 

ToNEY. Any house ? 

Herr P. Some. Zee cheepair seats air feeling up queeker. 
ToNEY. Good. If we have a good house it will make the 
whole of us better, and Pa Hobbes won't always be scolding so. 
Herr P. And we weel get our monay. Yais ? 
ToNEY. Some time. 

(J)ru7n starts tip again outside and voice continues, Herr P. 
limbers up and Toney hastens on with his work of mak- 
ing up.) 

Voice. Once more, ladies and gents. Third and last call 
to step right up and pay your money. Say, don't push so. 
This way to the big show. Bang that drum there. {Bus.) 
This way where the noise is, ladies and gents. This way. 
This way. 

(After an instant the curtains l. u. e. are pulled aside and 
Hobbes, a stout, bull-necked, good-natured but loud-voiced 
man, much worried and disturbed, conies into the tent.) 

Hobbes {entering). Did any one ever see such luck ? 
Was there ever a peaceable, ordinary, easy-going, humble, 
honest young citizen of this blooming country ever up against 
the like? And now what in thunder's gone wrong here? 
{He looks about Iwn. Herr P. is limbering up at a rapid 
gait.) What are you doing, Toney? 

ToNEY. Making up. 

Hobbes {turning on Herr P.). Say, you pie-faced for- 
eigner, you just get a wiggle on and give them out there a good 
show to day, you understand? 

Herr P. What you mean by wnggle ? 

Hobbes. As if I had time to refer to Webster and turn over 
one thousand pages of 'his remarks until we get lo wiggle, 
w-i-g-g-1-e, and then explain it for you to ask me one million 
questions afterward, and then you wouldn't understand. Say, 
you are the most idiotic ignoramus 



THE SAWDUST qUEEN J 

Herr P. Whateezzat? 

HoBBES {clistr acted). Oh, I'll be blowed if I'm going to 
say anything more to you. {Shouts at him.) You go to 
work. Understand that ? 

Herr P. Vair much. 

(^Goes up and busies himself.) 

HoBBES. I must set me down fer er minute. {Bus.) 
Whew ! I ain't hed one minute ter think, Toney, since break- 
fast. 

Herr P. {faintly). Breakfast. 

HoBBES. Say, didn't 1 tell you to go to work ? 

Herr P. Yais, but efen eef I do, 1 can eat zee same break- 
fast ovair again. 

HoBBES. Well, my goodness gracious, you will if my 
bosses don't get any better. Just think of having fourteen 
bosses down with the colic, not a boss ter draw er cart, and 
here we've got ter set till they all get better if it takes till 
Doomsday, fer this village can't fill my tent more'n once, and 
this makes the second day we've been here, and the town's 
gettin' on its ear now. They'll be blovvin' me up. sky high, 
and then I hope ter creation I don't ever come down ergain. 

Herr P. {alarmed). Mymonay? \_Exit, R. 

HoBBES {getting tip ; enraged). Say, didn't I tell you ter 
go ter work ? {Sits down and mops his face with Ids red 
handkerchief.) I never did see such impudence. as tliese for- 
eign fixin's throws eround, Toney ! 

Toney. It's pretty hard. Pa Hobbes. 

HoBBES. Toney, it's me own fault. I might er known bet- 
ter than ter strike this region ergain, with er show er my size. 
Blame me, if the last time I wuz through this country some- 
thing didn't bust, and I wuz years gettin' over it. 

Toney. That's sixteen years ago. 

Hobbes. You don't mean ter say that you've been all these 
years with me, Toney ? 

Toney. I joined you here in this town. 

Hobbes. Well, I'll be ostracized fer er flyin' babboon if yer 
didn't. 

Toney. It's sixteen years ago this summer, and we ain't 
been here since. I was kinder glad jou never did stray back 
this way, Pa, for there was nothing here to bring one, or any- 
thing I cared to remember. 

Hobbes. Sure. You and Starlight jined me here sixteen 



8 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

years goin' erlong. I didn't berlieve I was that old, Toney. 
{Suddenly jinnps zip, and bursts out?) What ! Is every- 
body daid? {Goes up L. u. e.) What's the matter with 
that barker out front ? Where's that drum ? Is this show er 
funeral? {Goes out and is heard shouting outside.) Here 
you, pipe up, and bang that drum, you idiot. Don't you 
know wot er circus is like? {Drum starts upj) Ain't you 
bein' paid fer workin' ? Now don't attempt ter tell me you 
ain't got yer monay, 'cause it's all about yer. Look eround at 
it and work fer it. You just make er noise and it'll come. 

Voice {outside, as drutn is heard beating). Right ahead. 
Right ahead to the big show. Performance now about to com- 
mence. Right ahead. Buy your tickets here. This way, and 
then right ahead, right ahead. 

Herr p. {looking in r., timidly). Eet eez most time, 
Toney ? 

Toney {getting up with his materials. He is made up). 
Oh, there's ten minutes yet. 

Herr P. Zat man, he keel me wiz his angair. I weel not 
stay here to be insulted longair. \_Exit, r. 

HoBBES {entering L. u. c). More trouble ! The band has 
struck ! Now what in the name of all that's old-fashioned did 
they want ter go and do that for ? Did any one ever hear of 
er circus without er band ? And what is er circus without er 
band, anyhow? It ain't er circus. Then them Siamese twins 
has er cold and insists on bein' wrapped up like us mortals. 
Who ever heard of the Siamese twins dressed up? Why, if I 
do that they'll be just what they are, plain Mary McCarthy 
and Johana O'Reilly and getting eighteen per. Say, it'll be 
er dead give erway. Oh, I'll be broke before I'll ever get out 
of this place. For if it ain't one thing it's another. {Sits 
doivn on drum.) Wot'll turn up now? 

HuL. {entering L.). Boss. 

HoBBES {jumping up, distracted). What in the name of 
the confounded Dickens have you got fer er kick comin', eh? 

HuL. My joints dey is stiff, Ja. I fall yesterday mit my 
act. 

HoBBES. What can I do when some everlasting nincom- 
poop went and used all my accident liniment fer the performers 
on my bosses ? 

HuL. Let me do der act mit der dumb-bells 

HoBBES. And you'll ride, too. No bluffs go in my factory ! 
{A g07ig rings outside.) There's the first bell. {All prepare 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 9 

for work ; Hobbes gets up.) Get ready, all of you. Where's 
my whip? Who goes in first ter-day? Where's Madame 
Bonnelli and the tumblers ? Don't any one tell me they have 
quit the show. {Sees large hoop tip C. ; leans against the 
side of the tent.) Who put that hoop up there? 

(^An instant and then there is a crash a?id Starlight 
pokes her head throjigh the hoop laughingly.) 

Star, (as they all exclaim). I did. {She breaks her way 
through the hoop and romps down stage all aglow with health 
and spirits. She is dressed as Columbine and carries her 
??iask.) I've heard all you said, and I know all you're going 
to say, and, oh, think of all the words you have wasted, Pa ! 

{She laughs and throws her arms about him.) 

Hobbes* Well, bless ray everlastin' twenty-third cousin ! 
Toney, your gal does run my show and no mistake. I never 
can git mad when she does anything. 

HuL. {ivho is seated rubbing her knee). She run me right 
to my man in Germany, Ja. 

Star, {going to her). Oh, Hulda, you dear kind Hulda, 
I don't want to run you. I don't want to run anybody or any- 
thing ; it doesn't sound nice. No, I love you all. We're all 
together 

Hobbes {going tip to l. u. e.). And it's er case of sink, 
swim or die this time all right. Did any one ever see such 
luck ? I'm goin' in the ring. Look sharp everybody. 

\^Exit. HuL. goes out l. 

Star. Did you think I was lost, 1 oney ? 

Toney. Hulda said you were in the big tent. 

Star. I stole out and around and under the side. I 
wanted to 

Toney. Listen ? 

Star. No, to surprise you, Toney. 

Toney. But you listened all the same. 

Star. You aren't angry with me for doing it? 

Toney {offended). I thought I brought you up better than 
that. 

Star, {eagerly). You did, Toney, you did. You've taught 
me everything I know about doing right. You're very good, 
and you've tried so hard, and you've been so patient with me. 
Yes, I know I did wrong — that I ought not to have listened ; 



10 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

but I couldn't help it. When I raised the tent and crept un- 
der I heard something. {With a cry.) Toney, this is our 
honne ! 

Toney {quickly, surlily). No, it ain't. 

Star, {be^vildered'). But you said 

Toney {quickly). I was only talking, that's all. 

Star, {tipset). Oh, Toney, you don't mean — Toney, you 
are angry with me. Oh, Toney, won't you tell me the truth ? 

Toney. The truth ? 

Star. Yes, you are hiding something from me? 

Toney {embarrassed at her searching gaze ; after a pause). 
Wal, s'pose 1 think it ain't good fer yer ter know it ? 

Star, {upset). It isn't good for me to know it ? {Alarmed, 
hysterical.) Oh, Tony, what do you mean ? What do you 
know ? Is — is there anything 

Toney {taki^ig her i?t his arms). Come, come, pet, you'll 
work yourself all out of sorts ter-day. You know Black Bess 
has gone lame. 

Star, {hotly). And it's cruel to make Hulda and me ride 
her. 

Toney. You'll have ter be careful ; she's our only hoss. 

Star. How much longer must we stay here, Toney? 

Toney. Well, if I could only do something, I'd pull up 
stakes and git out ter- morrow. Pa Hobbes says we can't 
budge an inch till the bosses gets better. 1 guess that spells 
ruination fer our show. 

Star, {ivith a cry). Oh, Toney ! 

Toney {looking at her an instant and then sadly). Why 
don't yer call me father? 

Star. I can't. Somehow, I — I can't. 

Toney. Call me dad, then ? 

Star. No; that doesn't sound right either. 

Toney. Sound right? What do yer mean by that? 

Star. Why that — that you don't seem like my father or 
my daddy. Don't feel hurt, Toney. I know it's strange for 
me to think such things and to say them, but really, I always 
feel that you are more like my brother than my — father. 

Toney. Humph. 

Star. It's a queer feeling to have, isn't it? 

Toney {an instant and then). How long you felt like this? 

Star. Always. 

Toney {ivith feeling). But I'm your father all the same. 

Star, {throiving her arms about him). Yes, you are, 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN II 

Toney, you are. But won't you let me call you Toney just ilie 
same? 

Toney (a pause while she ivaits ami then , quietly). I ain't 
objectin'. (Holds her in his arins.) 

HoBBES {ijiside the big tent, up ; announciiig). Ladies and 
gentlemen. This afternoon we are gathered ter see the most 
wonderful display of Aerial Aquatics ever produced in this 
hemisphere and in this century by a circus of such a size as 
the Great Forever. This show is the only show having stars 
of the first magnitude, stars with European repertations, stars 
known and discussed all over the world, stars up in the very 
clouds above us as it were, compared ter all others of the more 
inferior shows. Ladies and gentlemen. This afternoon you 
will get your money's worth. If you don't, hunt eround after 

the show and find me, and get your money back 

HUL. {entering l. ivith her dumb-bells). Find him? Ja, 
if you ain't looking for der money. 

Star, {as Toney exits, r.). You mustn't talk so, Hulda, 
about Pa. 

HuL. How do I look mit myself? 
Star. Dazzling. 

HuL. Oh, if my man in Germany could see me now rait 
dis figure I cut. 

Star, {jvith a laugh). He would take you for a Bologna 

sausage {Runs out l.) 

HuL. {laughi?ig uproariously). Oh, you are dot funny, 
you make me tickle behind myself, Ja. 

HoBBES {outside). As I said, ladies and gentlemen, you are 
going to get your money's worth. You are going to be satis- 
fied. You are going back home and tell your friends so they 
can come to the show to-night and see the wonderful, marvelous, 
breath-taking, glittering, gorgeous, glorious display never be- 
fore equaled by any show, and provided at an enormous ex- 
pense by the biggest of all shows, the Great Forever. The 

first, last and only show 

HuL. {luho has been waiting inipaticjitly for him to amiounce 
her). How long will he stay rait dot talkin' machine? 

Herr p. {entering r.). He can talk a streak to your man 
in Germany, Hulda. 
HuL. Ja. 

HoBBES {outside). Now, ladies and gentlemen, I will say 
no more. I will content myself with announcing each act as 
it appears. There are ten of them on the programme. Count 



12 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

'em. The first number on ihe i)]ogramme for this afternoon 
is HuUia, the only champion strong lady. Hukla, from the 
King's Palace, London 



HuL. {getting up). What a whopper! I nefer go no- 
where's over dere. 1 stay mit my man and my sauerkraut 
and my pickles in Germany, Ja? 

HoBBES {announcing). She will lift ten thousand pounds 
with the ease of a featherweight 

HuL. He mean a bluff ! 

HoBBES {outside). And on the flying trapeze you will be- 
hold the daring, dare-devil, double somersault act equaled no- 
where by the Herr Professor. And last, but by no means 
least, Toney, the only funny clown, will disport himself and his 
screamingly funny antics in the ring. This way for the mar- 
velous, mystifying exhibition of human intelligence. 

Toney {enter ifig k.). All ready, Hu Ida ? 

HuL. {as they all three go uf). Ja, I am all here mit my 
joints. 

Toney. And you, professor? 

Herr P. Yais. 

Toney {pausing up an instant , as he is about to go out fol- 
lowed by the other tzvo, and calling^. Starlight ! 

Star, {off l.). I'm changing ray shoes, Toney. I'm go- 
ing to put on my riding slippers, if I am going to ride Black 
Bess. 

Toney. Don't be late. {To perfo?-mers, as they go out 
L. u. e.) Come along, then. 

HuL. {going out). Oh, I am so nervous mit myself ! 

Herr P. Eet eez zee climate, yais? \_Exeunt all three. 

{There is a pause of an instant and then a drawling voice 
of a countryman is heard talking outside the tent up c. 
The hoop through which Star, appeared has been taken 
aivay, so that there is a clear field for the entrance.) 

Silas Hankum {outside). By gum, gais, look sharp, and 
when I say three you just git down on all fours and shinny 
under the tent before you git cotched. {Counts.) One — two 
— three ! 

{There is a great commotio7i up c. back, a?7.d in an instant 
three elderly maiden ladies come scramblifig into the tent 
on all fours, breathless, greatly excited, arid much ex- 
ercised with their efforts to avoid the constable. They 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN I3 

quickly get tip ami arrange tiicmselves^ ali cJiattering and 
iaikitig as fast as they can go it, adjusting tJieir hats 
straight, siiaking out their clot lies, etc I) 

Miss Prue. I'm in 

Miss Prouty. So am I 

Miss Prossitt. Me too 



Miss Prue. Well, I just do declare 

Miss Prouty. I never 

Miss Pross. Did you ever — — 
Miss Prue. Pm er sight 



Miss Pross. I just know I throwed my knee out er 

joint 

Miss Prouty. My alpaca is just ruined 

Miss Prue. Pve lost my umbrella 



Miss Pross. My bag — Pve dropped my bag 

Miss Prouty. Where's my red shawl — my shawl? 
Silas {outside). ■ All there, gals ? 
Three Women. Yes, what's left. 

{The tent is raised a bit and Silas, a tall, very thin country- 
tnan, crazvls quickly in, and they all sigh relieved.) 

Silas {getting up). By gum, gals, you went under that 
tent like er streak o' chain lightnin'. I never did see the way 
you three disappeared. 

Miss Prue. Well, I do hope ter the land no one' 11 know it. 
I never thought, at my time o' life, Pd be skiddadlin' under a 
circus tent ter git rid er payin' er price that's exhorbitant, and 
that they ain't got no right ter charge fer such er wicked thing 
as a circus. 

Miss Pross. Yes, it is wicked. 1 know it's wicked. 

Miss Prouty. Of course it is. Didn't the Deacon say last 
night in his prayer that every varmint of 'em is goin' straight 
ter that section with the imperlite name ? 

Miss Prue. Well, they ain't got my money, anyhow, so 
Pve got er clear conscience amidst all this wickedness, if I did 
shinny under the tent. 

Miss Pross. And lose my bag with my powder puff and 
my hair restorer 



Miss Prouty. And my red cashmere shawl 

Miss Prue. And my red silk umbrella. 
Silas {looking at them admiringly). Wal, you would 
come, gals ! 



14 THE SAWDUST (^JEEN 

Miss Prue, Of course we would, and we don't regret it 
either. 1 alius did want ter git just one look inside er circus 
tent so I could deliver er lecture on wickedness ter my Society 
of Cruelty to the Dumb, and now that we are in the tent 

Silas {suddenly looki?ig about Imn with a gasp). By gum, 
gals ! {Aghast.) We ain't in the tent. 

'I'hree VV. {with a shriek). What ! 

Silas. Blamed if it ain't the dressin' tent. 

Three W. {aghast). What ! 

Silas. And by gum, gals, I'll be blowed if I can tell 
whether it's male or female. 

( The three women promptly go into hysterics, all talking at 
once while Silas has his hands full trying to calm them 
and keep them from disturbijig the show.) 

Miss Prue. There, I just knew it would happen and 

we'd get in some awful fix, Silas Hankum, and it's all your 

fault, and you've got to get us out 

Miss Pross. I just know that I shall faint away and die 

from mortification, and you're ter blame, Silas Hankum, 

and you've got ter get me out 

Miss Prouty. I felt clear down in my shoes that if I 

trusted you ter take me ter a circus I'd be held up fer er 

freak, and you've got ter git me out 

Silas {distracted). By gum, gals, the only way out is 
the way we come in, unless yer want ter run inter 

Three W. {jvith a shriek). A man ? 

Silas, That's erbout the size of it. 

Miss Prue. Why did I ever let myself be persuaded 

Miss Pross. It's all your fault, Patience Prouty, and now 
see what a scrape you've got me inter 

Miss Prouty. Don't say scrape ter me. I've scraped my 
shins till they're sore, and 1 ain't er-goin' ter shinny under that 
tent ergain if I have ter go along with the show 

Silas. Hold on er minute, gals. Don't git so excited. 

Three W. {shrieking). You've got ter git us out er 
this 

Silas. I don't see no other way unless yer shinny. 

Three W. {shrieking). The very idea, Silas Hankum, of 
askin' gals as old as your mother, ter do such er thing 

Miss Prue {hysterically). You want us ter get er- 
rested 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 1 5 



Miss Prouty (^sauie bi/s.). And sent ter jail 



Miss Pross. {same bus.). Or put in a cage with the 
freaks 



Miss Prue {sa7?ie bus.). I want ter go home 

Miss Pross. How can we ever get out 

Miss Prouty {wringing her hands). I'm going to have er 
fit. 1 know I am. 

Silas {alarmed). By gum, then Fd have one, too ! 

Three W. {shrieking). You just try it ! 

HoBBES {heard outside, announcing). The next number 
on the programme, ladies and gents, is the KrnibHn' act 

Three \V. {aghast). A man 

Silas {trembling). It sounds hke it 

Three VV. And we're in his tent 



Silas. We kin make er dash and git out through them 
curtains before he comes in. Why in thunder didn't I see 
that openin' before 

{All four go up stage, but as they reach opening the curtains 
part and HuL. comes hurrying into the tent all puffing 
and blotving from her act. The ivomen shriek and seek 
refuge behind Silas.) 

Miss Prue. What is it ? 

Miss Prouty. Where did it come from ? 

Miss Pross. Is it erhve? 

HuL. {pausing and staring at them amused). You afraid 
of me, Ja ? 

Silas. Say, gals, it won't eat yer ; it's one er them pesky 
performers. 

(Silas appears to be quite smitten, much to Hul.'s amuse- 
ment. The three women emerge fro?n behind Silas and 
approach Hul., and study her critically.) 

Three W. {relieved). Performers? 

Hul. {as they surround her). Ja. Dot's me. Do you 
wish ter speech mit me? 

Miss Prue. Are you a wicked circus performer ? 

Hul. {bewildered). Wicked? Nein. 

Silas (aghast). Nine? Once is ernough ! 

Three W, She means no. 

Silas. OJi ! 

Hul. {laughing). Isn't he a funny man mit himself, Ja? 



l6 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

Silas (^foolishly). You git out. 

HuL. Ja. I put you dere. 

Miss Pross. How can you go about dressed so awful ? 
Don't you know that it's wicked to have your sleeves rolled up 
in that manner ? 

HuL. Sleeves rolled up? Dey ain't rolled up. Dey roll 
no goodt mit me, so I cut dem off. 

'1 HREE W. (aghast). Cut them off ! 

Miss Prue. Do you mean to tell us that you haven't any 
sleeves ? 

HuL. Ja. I do it for der exercise, der freedom 

Miss Prouty (jvith a snorf). Exercise. 

Miss Pross. {same bus.). Freedom. 

Miss Prue and other Two {aghast). Such vulgar 
language. 

Silas. Wal, by gum, gals, you can't but admit she's got an 
almighty fine arm. 

Three W. Silas Hankum ! 

HuL. {laughing). Oh, he is so funny mit me, himself, Ja ? 
He see all der goodt points like my man in Germany, if I effer 
ged dere. 

Miss Prue. Come along ; I will not waste words with such 
a brazen critter. 

Miss Prouty. Nor will I. 

Miss Pross. Nor I. 

{They all go up, and Silas shines up to HuL.) 

Silas {as they turn their backs to go up, in a whisper). 
Say, what's yer name? 

Three W. {at i.. u. e., turning and discover iiig him ; with 
a shriek). Silas Hankum ! 

Silas {going up). Wal, that's my name. 

( Goes up and they are about to open the curtains L. u. E. 
ivhen Star, runs in from l.) 

Star, {entering). Oh, Plulda, how are things going 



{She sees the people up, 7vho turn at the sound of her voice.) 
1 — 1 didn't know that you had friends here, Hulda ! 

HuL. {quickly). Dey no friends mit me. 

Three \V. {interested). Who be you ? 

Star. I'm Starlii^ht. 

Three W. {to each other, with a sneer). Starlight? 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN I7 

Star. Yes, you've heard of me, of course, and of Black 
Bess. She's my horse. You see, I ride in the ring and dance 
on the platform. 

Miss Prue. Ride? 

Miss Pross. Dance ? 

Miss Prouty. On a hoss ? 

Three W. (aghast). Such wickedness. 

Star, (bewildered^ Wickedness? Why, what is wicked ? 

Miss Prue (^coming do7vn ; severely). This thing that you 
are doing. 

Star. Do you mean to tell me that it is wicked to ride 
Black Bess, and to dance in all my pretty clothes 

Three W. (aghast). Do you call them clothes? 

Star. Why, yes. Don't you like my costume? Toney 
likes it. He made it. Hulda thinks it's the most becoming 
dress I ever appeared in, don't you, Hulda? 

{Tiiriis around showing dress.) 

HuL. Ja. 

Three W. (with a snort). Indecent. 

Star, (^puzzled). Indecent? I don't understand what 
indecent means. Do you, Hulda? I'm afraid by your looks 
it isn't nice. 

Three W. {emphatically). That's just what it is. 

Star. How cruel of you to criticize my dress like this. 
What right have you to criticize it, anyway? AVhat right? 
When Toney made it, and Hulda likes it, and Pa Hobbes paid 
for it, and they all think it's so pretty, and it looks so nice 
on me ? 

Miss Prue. Impudent critter. 

Star, (hotly). I'm not impudent. I'm only a little circus 
girl. I try to be nice to strangers ; but you aren't kind, and I 
shan't, and I won't, and I never shall be nice to you. (With 
a cry.) To you. ( Goes to door l.) 

Miss Pross. (as they all stand aghast). Wal, I never did 
see such er heathen. Let's go. 

Star, (ivith a cry, turning at door l.). I'm not a heathen. 

Miss Prouty (tuarmly). Wal, if you ain't er heathen it's 
hard tellin' what you be. Fer all you circus people are such 
unchristian God- forsaken critters, it's hard ter tell just where 
yon do berlong 

Star. Don't you talk like that. I'm good ! I love every- 
body. I don't call people I know nothing about such awful 



l8 THE SAWDUST qUEEN 

names. I don't say such horrid things as you do. I have 
more feeling for my neighbors 

Miss Prue. Humph. Didn't s'pose circus folks had any 
feeling. 

Star, {eagerly). Oh, you don't know us circus people. 
You don't know how kind we are to one another, and what we 
woul(in't do when one of us is ill. Why, last night I sat up 
all night long with Jocko, our sick monkey 

Three W. (with a shriek). Monkey ? 

Star. Yes, you see we even love our animals. 

Miss Prue. Ugh ! And I can't bear a cat. 

Star. So you see that you are very wrong in your idea of 
circus people. 

Three W. Oh, we know. 

Star. But Hulda can tell you differently. 

HuL. Ja, — in German. 

Star. You don't know anything about us — about our life. 
Why, in some ways it's not any different from yours. 

Three W. {aghast). Ours? 

Star. Yes. 

Three W. How do you know anything about our lives ? 

Star. Because I haven't always been a little circus girl. 

Three W. Humph ! 

Star. No. I always supposed that I had been born in a 
circus and that Toney had been too, but to-day I found out 
differently. I heard Toney say that even if you do call me un- 
christian, God-forsaken and wicked, I was born right here in 
this village. 

Three W. {agliast). What ? 

Star. Yes, and Fm one of you, and you can't disown me. 
No, no, you can't. Toney says I'm one of you, and he knows. 
And now you call me such names again if you dare ! 

{The three woinen gasp ; Star, coiifroiits them ; Silas and 
HuL. are at 07ie side looking on 7vith admiration. Toney 
comes in L. u. e. He stops, takes in the situation and 
starts on beholding woineji.) 

Toney {enterino^. It's most time, pet ! 

Star, {running to him with a cry). Oh, Toney, Toney, 
I'm so glad you've come. I'm so glad. Tell them I'm not 
wicked. Tell them we're all good. You, Pa, Hulda, and all 
of us. {Sobs in his arms.) Tell them ! Tell thei^i ! 

Toney {as she weeps in his arms). There, there, pet. 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN JQ 

HoBBES {heard outside). And now, ladies and gentlemen, 
comes the act of the afternoon, the act you are all waiting for, 
the act you have come to see — Starlight, the Queen of the Saw- 
dust. 

ToNEY. Run along, pet, and ride. 

Stak. {going out, hysterically'). Yes, yes, I'll ride, ride, 
ride. 

{She runs out L. u. E. Toney closes the curtains after her 
with a jerk and then turns on the ejnbarrassed quartette,) 

Toney. What did you say ter my little gal? 

Three W. Only what we thought it was our Christian 
duty to. 

Toney {after an instant, controlling his feelings with diffi- 
culty). Say, how'd you git in here, anyhow ? 

{An embarrassed silence and then.) 
Miss Prue. Well, we 



Miss Pross. Yes, that's it, we 

Miss Prouty. Oh, we 

Silas. Yas, that's just how. 

Toney. Wal, you just git through them curtains {indicat- 
t?ig openifig L. u. e.) as quick as you think it's your Christian 
duty to. {All four hasten quickly up and off. Hul. laughs up- 
roariously and Toney throws hifnself down upon the drum in 
despair.) Oh, it's no laughing matter, Hulda. My little gal 
ain't goin' ter be the same now, and Pve got the blues, too. 

Hul. Ach Himmel ! you, Toney? Shust count deraplabet 
sixty times and den forged it and der blues will have blue. 

Toney. No nonsense, Hulda, I'm afraid something's going 
to happen to my little gal. 

Hul. Starlight ? 

Toney {sadly). You see, I used to live here in this village, 
Hulda. 

Hul. Dis awful place ? 

Toney. Yes. It was a long time ago. Most long enough 
to forget. Anyway, my little gal forgot it until to-day. But 1 
shall never tell her of it again unless — I have to, Hulda. 

{A pause while she looks at him, and then.) 

Hul. Toney ? 
Toney. Yes ? 



20 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

HuL. Why did you join mil der show business? 

lONEY. I can't tell you jusl why. I had to leave the vil- 
lage, for I didn't want to live among bigots. I wanted to 
find the warmth and sunlight that doesn't creep into the cracks 
and crannies of the narrow life. 1 wanted to find true loyal 
hearts, hearts that beat as mine did. So I went out into the 
world, Hiilda, and took my little girl. We joined this show, 
and — and I've never regretted it, Hulda, until now. 

HuL. {^aghast). Ach Himmel, Toney, you do ? 

ToNEY. You see, my little girl isn't a little girl any longer. 
She's growing up fast. She'll soon be too big to ride Black 
Bess 

HuL. Ach Himmel, Black Bess she not live forever. 

Toney. No, and my little gal can't be a circus gal forever. 
I've got that to think of. She wasn't a circus child in the first 
place, for she belongs to good people, Hulda, and comes from 
the best there is in this village. 

HuL. Ach Himmel ! How you talk mit yourself, Toney. 

Toney. I don't know why I'm telling you this, Hulda. I 
just can't help it, that's all. I know I'm wedded ter the circus 
and that I'm only a clown ; but with all that, I was one of 'em 
once, and I've got ter talk about it, Hulda. I've got ter talk 
about it, and tell some one. And then seein' their cousin 

HuL. Vos dot man dere cousin ? Say, Toney, he made 
eyes mit me, Ja. 

Toney. I don't mean Silas Hankum. But out there, when 
I was doing my act, I caught his eye. He stared, but he didn't 
know me in my make-up. [Excitedly.') But he's goin' ter 
see her, Hulda. He's goin' ter see her. 

{^He goes tip L. u. e. and peers off through curtains.) 

Hui.. (aghast). Where are you, Toney? Come back mit 
yourself and speech. What we do if you go wrong mit your- 
self? 

Toney {coming hack). Don't be afraid, Hulda; I can keep 
a level head. I'll hold my bosses until it's time, even if 
Deacon Matthew Sterling does see her. He'll get the truth 
from me when I get good and ready to tell him. 

{A gong rings outside.) 

HuL. Der first haf of der show is over. I must get ready 
mit my snakes now. {Goes l.) I go look at dem. 

\_Exit, L. 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 21 

Herr p. {co?niiig in l. u. e.) Meestair Toney, you help 
me make my change, yais. I must be queek, and zee buttons 
go up behind. 

Toney (as they go r.). Is the act over ? 

Herr P. Yais. Starlight she ride beautifully. I stay too 
long to watch her. 

(They go out r. An instaiit and then Star, rims in l. u. e. 
She is pursued by Ned Sterling, a young college lad of 
twenty. 

Ned. Starlight ! Starlight ! It's you. {As Star, dodges 
behind the drum.) Come here and tell me it's you. 

Star. No, I can't and you mustn't stay here. It's against 
the rules. Pa Hobbes and Toney would be very angry if they 
knew. 

Ned. I don't care about Pa Hobbes and Toney. I don't 
care about anything else but you, you. You haven't clianged 
if you are a — a circus lady. You're just the same Helen that 
I knew last winter. 

Star, (laughing). I never change, Ned. 

Ned. Why didn't you make some motion, some sign, when 
you saw I recognized you, and when I was just dying for a 
look? 

Star, (laughing). Oh, Ned ! 

Ned (hotly). Yes, I know you'll say it's the same old 
story, Starlight ; but honest I've got it bad. 

Star. What ? 

Ned. Love. 

Star. Love ? 

Ned. Yes, for you. (As she laughs and runs away from 
him and dances behind the drum and dodges him.) I love 
you more now than I did last year, I can't think of any one 
but you. Why, I never saw anything through the performance 
but you, Starlight. 

Star, (solemnly). But you're only a boy, Ned. 

Ned (hotly). And you're only a girl, and younger than me at 
that. So if I'm only a boy, you must be a kid. (He goes up.) 

Star, {coming from behind dru77i and approachiiig hij?i). 
Don't be angry with me, Ned. What am I to do when you get 
so wild and run after me so? 

Ned (e7nbracing her). Oh, Starlight, don't you realize that 
I really and truly do care for you, that I'm not like these circus 



22 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

mashers that are filling you up with guff all the time, that you 
must take me seriously ? 

Star. How can I ever take you seriously ? 

Ned. Don't you love me? 

Star, {sadly). There's only one person that I have a right 
to really love and that's Toney. 

Ned. And who's Toney? 

Star, {quietly). My father. 

Ned. Your father ? 

Star. Yes. You know you met him last winter. He took 
care of the college dormitory while I waited on table. 

Ned. And stole my heart, hand and soul. That man your 
father? I don't believe he's anything to you. 

Star, {as^hasi). Ned ! 

Ned. Well, perhaps I ought not to come out quite so 
strong ; but you see I love you, Starlight, and I'm jealous when 
you talk about another fellow coming in between us, even if he 
is your father. I can't stand it. {A pause and then.) I say, 
Starlight, I suppose I'll have to ask him anyhow. 

Star. Ask him what ? 

Ned. Why, for you. 

Star. For me? 

Ned. You don't suppose that I'm going ahead and fall in 
love with you so that I cannot get out, and then have your fa- 
ther come in between us ? 

Star. No, that wouldn't be right. I don't know what 
Toney will say. 

Ned. He'll take it philosophically, if he's the man I think 
he is. 

Star. Perhaps. But he thinks so much of me. 

Ned. Then he'll say it all rests with you. 

Star. That sounds just like him, Ned. 

Ned. He'll say that if you have stolen the heart of a rich 
young college youth, and this same young man caies more for 
the girl he loves than he does for his studies, said young man 
ought to ask said young lady to marry him and end it all. 

Star. And what do you suppose Toney would want me to 
say in reply, Ned? 

Ned. He'd want you to say yes before I could say "Jack 
Robinson." Now say it. 

Star, {alarmed). Oh, no, no; Toney wouldn't want me 
to say that. 

Toney {entering ^.). Why not ? 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 23 

Star, {confused^. Oh, Toney, you heard? 
ToNEY. Yes, and I've used my eyes, too. Didn't I keep 
that dormitory last winter ? 

Ned. I guess you did, sir. 

Toney. Now look here, you aren't a bad sort of a chap, 
and I ain't against yer if yer really love my little gal, and I 
believe yer do even if yer are er little more than a boy. But 
there's this objection you've got ter think of. I'm er clown 
and she's my darter, a circus rider. What' 11 your folks say ter 
that sort of a match ? 

Ned (Jiotly). I don't care what my folks say; I'm pleasing 
myself not my folks. 

Toney. Yes, that's all very well in its way, but it makes a 
bigger commotion than you think of when you start off ter fire 
a bomb among yer relations ter burst fer the rest of yer life. 
Yas, this goin' ahead and takin' things inter your own hands 
don't alius come out right. Yer must consider yer relations. 

Ned. No, I won't. 

Toney. Why not ? 

Ned ijiotly). Because my father didn't. 

Toney {quickly). You bet he didn't. 

Ned {aghast). You know my father? 

Toney {recovering himself). Well — well 

Star, {jvith a cry). Oh, Toney, it is true, then. We did 
come from here? 

Ned. What, you don't mean that you're one of us? Oh, 
Starlight, I love you all the more. Oh, sir, if that's the case, 
circus or no circus, don't say no ; let me have Starlight. 

Toney {after a pause). Do you want me ter, Starlight? 

Star, {quietly). Yes, Toney. 

Toney. You know best. It's your affair, and I ain't er- 
goin' ter stand between you and your choice, and I'll be 
hanged if I'll let your relations. Here, take her, boy, and 
now let 'em holler. 

Ned {as they embrace). Starlight, my Starlight ! 

{As they stand there in each other' s embrace loud voices are 
heard outside curtains l. u. e. ) 

HOBBES {outside). I say I ain't er-goin' ter have it. I ain't 
er-goin' ter have anybody chasin' my gals inter the dressin' 
tent. It's ergainst the rules and regulations of my show. 

Deacon Matthew Sterling {outside l. u. e., in calm, even 



24 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

voice^). I'm not chasing your girl into any dressing tent. I 
don't know a dressing tent from any other kind of a tent. 

Ned (^qidck/y ; alarmed'). It's my father. 

Deacon. However, it makes no difference to me whether it 
is a dressing tent or not, I am after my son. I am chasing 
him. 

HoBBES. Your son ? You git out. Say, I ain't been in 
this business all these years ter be fooled like that. Your son ? 

Deacon. Yes, my son, sir. That's what I told you. And 
whether you have your rules and regulations or not, sir, my 
son is inside your dressing tent now. 

HoBBES [wiih a shriek). What? 

Deacon. I saw him go in there. 

HoBBES. The young scalawag ! 

Deacon. He chased that young bareback rider through 
these curtains and he hasn't come out. 

HoBBES. I don't believe it. 

Deacon. Do you mean to tell me to my face that I do not 
tell the truth, sir? 

HoBBES. Wal, there's no knowin' what I'll be tellin' yer if 
you're goin' ter break up my show. Did any one ever see such 
luck? Say, you git right back to your seat and let this show 
go on. 

Deacon. I'll do no such thing, sir. I do not intend to 
stir one step until I get that boy of mine. Oh, I know there's 
something going on. He didn't hang around here all day 
yesterday for nothing. 

Ned. To get a look at you. Starlight. 

Star. How angry he is ! 

Deacon. And now, I say, he is in there, and what do you 
intend to do? 

Three W. {outside). Yes, what do you intend to do? 

Hobbes. Wal, the only way ter settle this deebate is fer me 
ter investigate. 

Star, {quickly; alarmed). They are coming. 

Ned. Good. I'll face them all and have it over with right 
here. 

ToNEY. No, not yet; it ain't time. Let's fool 'em and then 
give 'em the surprise. Come inter my tent. {As they go r.) 
Mum's the word, Starlight. 

{He pushes aside the opeuiiigw. and he a7!dNET> exeunt almost 
at the same instant as Hobbes enters l. u. e. folloived by 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 2$ 

Deacon, a tall, severely dignified gentleman, Miss Prue, 
Miss Pross., Miss Prouty, and in the rear, Silas.) 

HoBBES {showing them in). Thar, 1 told yer so; but o' 
course you wouldn't believe it. Thar's no one here. 

Three W. There's that gal ! 

Deacon. Yes, the girl he followed. {Cofning dow7i ; to 
Star.) Pie did follow you, didn't he? 

Star. Who? 

Deacon. My son. He ran in here after you, didn't he ? 

{A pause a?id then.') 

Star, {quietly). Yes. 

Three W, There, we knew. 

HoBBES {distracted). Why didn't yer lie? 

Star, {distressed). Oh, I can't. Pa. I couldn't do a 
thing like that. It — it wouldn't be right. Besides what harm 
will it do to admit it ? 

HoBBES. What harm ? Did any one ever see such luck ? 
Why, it'll be the ruination of my show. These people won't 
stop ter think. They'll spread it all over the county that you 
was chased by a young ignoramus 

Deacon. My son, sir, is not an ignoramus. 

HoBBES. Wal, he don't know no better, if he is your son. 

Deacon. Well, he should. 

Three W. Yes, we brought him up. 

Hobbes {distracted). Wal, this ain't no deebate. You're 
holdin' up my show ter find er man and now where is he? 
I've got five hundred people er-waitin' out thar. Did any one 
ever see such luck ? Wal, decide quick. 

Deacon. I want my son, sir ! Give me my son and I'll go. 

Hobbes. Wal, where in the name of all the bad places I 
can think of is your son ? 

Three W. Ask her. 

Star, {alarmed). I? 

Deacon. Didn't you admit that he chased you in here 
through those curtains? Now where did he go to? What 
have you done to hide him ? 

Star, {hotly). I haven't hidden him. 

Deacon. But he is not here. What has become of him ? 

Star, {f alter ingly). He — he's gone. 

All {juith disdain). Gone ? 

Ned {dashing in r., hotly). No, father, I'm here. I did 



26 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

follow her, and I came in here lo get a word with her, and I 
shan't stand by like a coward, and see the girl I love humiliated 
by all of you like this. 

All. Love ! 

Deacon. What are you talking about, my son ? 

Ned. I'm talking about this girl. Starlight. I've known 
her ever since last winter, and I'm going to do like you did, 
father, and marry the girl I really love. 

All (aghast). What? 

Deacon. Are you in your right senses, boy? Do you 
mean to tell me that you deliberately intend to marry this girl 
you have picked up here — this common circus woman 

Ned (as Star, titters a cry of pai?i). Don't you call her 
names, father. 

Star. Oh, please don't, Ned, please don't. 

Deacon. Do you mean that you are in earnest — that I 
shall be expected to recognize an alliance of this kind ? You, 
my son, the son of Matthevy Sterling, marry a circus girl 

TONEY (efitfri?ig r. ; he has removed his clozv7i make-uf). 
Look here, that gal's every bit as good as your boy. 

Deacon (aghast). ToneyO'Hara! 

ToNEY. Yes, you know me well ernough and yer ought ter, 
when you married my gal, Nellie ; and there stands your child. 

(He points at Star.) 

Star, (with a startled cry). Toney ! 

HoBBES (throwing up his hands). Did any one ever see 
such luck ? 



QUICK CURTAIN 



ACT II 

SCENE. — Living-room in the Sterling homestead in the after- 
noon, three days later. A plainly and severely furnished 
room. There are few pieces of furniture, but all very nice. 
Several straight-backed, uncojufortable-lookifig chairs, a 
table and a sofa. Down l. c. is a square desk-table upon 
which are mwierous papers arranged neatly, also a Bible 
and ofie or two books handsomely bound. The rooin has 
three entrances ; a door c. leads outside ; a door L. opens 
outzvard into Deacon's room ; a door r. opeiis imvardfrom 
the front room. At the rising of the curtain this door is 
open. The upper right hand corner of the room is cut off 
by an alcove-like opening in ivhich is a long ivindow co?i- 
cealed from the audience by a shade which is drawn down. 
It is Just about dusk. 

(^As the curtain goes tip, the ■ sound of singing is heard in 
strident tones, accompanied by an organ. Miss Prue, 
Miss Pross. and Miss Prouty are singing hymns in room 
R., and the sound comes out to the audience. They are 
singing ^^ Nearer My God To Thee,'' and sing the first 
verse through. They then start on the seco7id, and after 
they have proceeded an ifistant or so, Star, comes cau- 
tiously out of the room, looking back, and quickly closes 
the door. She waits an instant as if fearing detection, 
but as the ladies sing on, reassured, she goes across to 
7i)indow, R. u. e. and, raising the shade, looks long and 
earjiestly off. Three days have made a great change in 
her appearance. She is dressed severely itt black, her 
skirt cut much longer than in the first act, with a touch 
of 7vhite at neck and wrists, the whole effect making her 
look old beyond her years. Her pretty, curly, ivavy hair 
has been co7?ibed out, parted in the middle, draivn down 
over her ears, and hangs in two severe braids tied with 
black ribbon. Her appearance to o?ie who ktioivs her is 
rather startling. Her romping, merry, light-hearted self 
has gone. At times she breaks out i?tto the girl of the 
first act only to check herself, but she seems earnest and 

ay 



28 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

sincere in all her efforts to do as they are tryifig to have 
her do. She stands at the windoiu a nwinent, and then 
suddenly stretches out her arms toivard the light with a 
cry.) 

Star. Oh, you dear, dear old circus. You dear, dear old 
friends. How can I do without you ? How can I stay here 
and let you go away and leave me behind ? It's three days, 
now, since I came and left you all there, and, oh ! it seems 
years. Years. I — I don't see how I am going to stand it ; 
but I must, and I am trying so hard. So hard. But I can't 
forget you. No, no, and I never shall. Dear, dear old 
friends. (As she stands gazing off wistfully, she is interrupted 
by tJie entrance of Ned, ^vho comes in c. and goes across to 
door R. Star., startled.) Ned ? 

Ned {sadly ; pausing). It's you, Starlight ? 

Star, {coniing down). .You mustn't go in there. Cousins 
are singing. They are teaching me the hymns for the meeting. 

Ned. Then why are you out here ? 

Star. I — I couldn't stand it any longer. I stayed as long 
as I could and then I — I — came out. ( With a cry.) Oh, 
Ned, where have you been ? 

Ned. Down in the pasture living. 

Star. Ned ! 

Ned. What else was there for me to do ? I couldn't come 
here. I don't know why I've come up here, now, unless it is 
because I couldn't stay away any longer. (With a cry.) 
You — my sister — my sister. {^He sinks doivn by the table and 
buries his- face i7i his arms. Star, stands looking sadly at 
him.) 

Star. That's what Toney says. 

Ned. Yes (bitterly), and Toney knows. Starlight, for the 
last three days I've been raving like a mad man. 

Star, (sadly). And I, too, have been trying to keep from 
going mad. Oh, you don't know what I've been through. 
But I've stood it so far, and I suppose I must go on, — and see 
it to the end. 

Ned. It will be hard at first, Starlight, but you'll get used 
to it. 

Star, (putting her hand on his shoulder). Yes, Ned, and 
so must you, dear. 

Ned (taking her hands). Oli, but I love you so. And 
then to have such a shock of finding out you were my sister ! 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 29 

Star, {as he sobs). I know, dear, I know. But I'm — I'm 
• doing the best I can, Ned, dear. 

Ned (with a cry, gettmg up). And I'm selfish to go on 
like this, when you have so much to contend with. But any- 
how, I can't stay here. I want to get off somewhere and for- 
get everything. (Suddenly.) Helen, I'm going away. 

Star, {startled). Ned! Where? 

Ned. I've got a notion of joining the show. 

Star. Ned ! 

Ned. I'm thinking seriously about it. I used to be pretty 
good at athletics in college, and I hear Pa Hobbes is rather 
shy in that line. 

Star. He hasn't anybody that I know of. But what will 
father say ? 

Ned (sadly). I guess it won't make any difference. You 
know how he treats me. An iceberg couldn't have any less 
feeling. Anyhow I haven't seen him to know what he'll say. 

Star. But you will before you go ? 

Ned. I've made up my mind not to. 

Star. Why? 

Ned (bitterly). Because it is partly his fault that I am 
going. 

Star. What do you mean ? 

Ned. He might have told me that you were in existence. 

Star. But how could he when he didn't know ? 

Ned (hotly). Didn't know? Didn't he drive your m.other 
out of his house because you were a girl ? 

Star. But Tony said that I died. 

Ned (soberly^. Yes, I forgot that. 

(A pause and then.) 

Star. Ned, dear, you won't go away — you won't run off 
and join the circus without saying good-bye to father? 

Ned. I don't know what I'll do yet. I haven't decided. 

Star. But you will, at least, let me tell him you are 
going? 

Ned. No. Father has played mean. He has broken my 
heart. 

Star, (luith a cry). Ned ! 

Ned. Hear those hymns? Just hear them! Wouldn't 
such piety, and cold-blooded devotion drive one insane? 
Must every thought be a prayer? I don't see how you stand 
it, Helen. 



30 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

Star, {soberly). I stand it because I must. It is to be my 
life. 

Ned. Good heaven ! Not to be brought up as those three 
old women, who never had any children, with their narrow 
and frigid ideas think you should be trained ? 

Star. But you forget father. 

Ned {going to door c). Father ! 

Star. Where are you going? 

Ned. Back to the sheep house. 

Star. But you'll come and say good-bye to me before 
you go, Ned ? 

Ned. Yes. And then I'll go to Toney. 

Star, (with feeling). Toney. How much longer will the 
circus stay, Ned ? 

Ned. I don't know. Why don't you ask Toney or some 
of them ? 

Star, {sadly). I can't. 

Ned. Can't ! 

Star, {soberly). No. I've promised not to go there or 
speak to any one of them again. 

Ned {ivith a cry). Helen ! 

Star, {with a cry). They say it's wicked. ( With feeling.) 
Oh, but it isn't, Ned, it isn't wicked. They were all my 
friends and were so good to me, and I love them all so — but 
I promised. 

Ned. Why ? 

Star, {soberly). It's part of my new life. Father and 
cousins say that I must learn to obey. ( With a cry.) Toney, 
dear kind Toney, never taught me that. Perhaps he didn't 
need to. He was always so kind to me that I always did just 
what he wished me to do. 

Ned {sadly). I didn't think you'd throw down your old 
friends, Helen. 

Star, {ivith a cry). Oh, Ned, that is cruel of you. You 
don't understand. You don't know. I love them all, all. I 
shall never forget them. 

Ned. Forgive me, dear. I don't know what I am saying. 
I didn't mean to hurt you, dear. {A pause.) We're both of 
us in trouble. 

Star, {eagerly). But it will come out all right, Ned, it 
must in the end. 

Ned {going out; sadly). I don't see how. I don't see 
how. \_Exit, c. 



THE SAWDUST C^EEN 3I 

Star. (/// window looking after him). Dear, dear Ned. 
Yes, 1 love you, I love you if you are my brother. 

(Aft ifistant and then she pulls doivn the shade. Door R. is 
flung open and the three ladies enter all very tnuch exer- 
cised a fid talking rapidly.) 

Miss Prue. The idea, she sneaked out. Sneaked ! 

Miss Pross. I knew it would be just this way. 

Miss Prouty. And when we flattered ourselves that she 
was really becoming one of us. 

Star. (comi?ig down ; eagerly). I am. Really, I am. 

Three \V. Helen ? 

Star. Yes, it's Helen, Helen Sterling; but, oh, won't you 
please call me Starlight just once ? 

Three W. (aghast). Starlight? 

Star, (with feeling). It — it will be a tiny bit of a change. 

Miss Prue. I told you, Patricia Prouty, that you couldn't 
beat those circus notions out of her head. She's thinkin' of 
*em even now. 

Miss Pross. (severely). Why did you defile that beautiful 
anthem by leaving the room ? 

Miss Prue. By sneakin' out? Sneakin' ? 

Miss Prouty. And when our back was turned, like er 
thief? 

Star, (with a cry). I didn't sneak out. I didn't wait 
until your back was turned, and Pm not a thief. 

Miss Prouty. Don't lie about it, Helen. 

Star, (distressed). Pm not lying about it. I showed you 
that I knew how to tell the truth there in the circus tent that 
day 

Three W. (ivith a shriek). Circus tent ! 

Miss Prue. Will you never become a God-fearing suppli- 
ant to the religious life ? 

Miss Prouty. Don't you know that you must not think of 
such things as a circus ? 

Miss Pross. Haven't you been told that no decent person 
who goes ter church meetin' regular every Sunday, and five 
times week days, gives such things and such varmints er 
thought? 

Three W. We don't. 

Star, (wistfully). I know you don't and that makes it 
all the harder for me. But you'll be patient with me, won't 
you ? Cousin Prudence, and you. Cousin Patricia, and even 



32 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

you, Cousin Patience, must admit that I have improved 
wonderfully ? 

(^A pause and then.') 

Miss Prouty. Umh. Some. 

Miss Prue. But there's lots more room fer development 
yet. 

Miss Pross. Or rather undevelopment. 

Three W. Yes, undevelopment. 

Star. I am trying hard to believe that I am one of you, 
indeed I am. That my father is a deacon of a church and is 
rich and respected, and that, being his daughter, I must be 
quiet 

Three W. Of course. 

Star. And reserved 



Three W. Of course 

Star. And talk about religion and sewing circles 

Three W. Of course. 

Star. And be like 3^ou all. And be like you all. (^Hys- 
terically. ~) You see I do know, don't 1? Won't you say Pm 
learning? That I am doing better? 

{A pause and the7i.) 

Miss Prue. Well, the truth is, Helen, you do all right 
ernough fer er spell, and we really think you are gettin' hu- 
manitized like us, when you, sudden-like, burst out with some 
awful expression 

Star, (^puzzled). Awful expression? 

Three W. Like circus. 

Star. But that isn't awful. 

Three W. No, it's wicked. 

Star, {hotly). But it isn't wicked — it isn't wicked. It 
isn't wicked to talk about that dear old place and those I love, 
and when they've been so good to me, and 

Three W. (aghast). There you go again. 

Star, (soberly). Forgive me. Please forgive me, I — I 
forgot. 

Miss Prue. I don't know whether we can have the cour- 
age 



Miss Pross. Or the cheek 

Miss Prouty. Or the patience 

Miss Prue. Ter face that congregation at prayer-meetin' 
with you ter-night, or not. 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 33 

Miss Prouty. She'll be sure ter make some awful break. 

Star, {jvith a cry). Indeed 1 won't, Cousin Patricia. 

Miss Pross. Or say somethin' ter make us so mortified. 

Star. No, no, I'll listen and never utter a sound. 

Miss Prue. But that's what you said when we went last 
night, and right in the midst of Pastor Jones's prayer, when he 
was prayin' that the Lord would open his flood gates and 
cleanse this earth of such a Leviathan as that everlastin' 
heathen circus 

Thri:e W. {with a shriek). You screeched out that it 
would ruin Pa Hobbes's business, and broke up the whole 
meetin'. 

Star, (distressed). I know I did; but I forgot where I 
was. I forgot that I was in church where even our own 
thoughts are sacred, that I was in prayer, that — that 

Miss Prue (carried aivay). I was lost in admiration at 
Belindy Baker's new mohair cape — — 

Other Two (aghast). Prudence ! 

Miss Prue (hastily). It fell on my lap when I was prayin' 
and I just couldn't help but see it. 

Star. That all happened last night, when I didn't know 
all that I know now. But a whole day has passed since then. 
A whole day. It seems years. {Quickly afid eagerly.) I'm 
doing much better now. You see it makes a difference, 
doesn't it? 

Three W. {an instant and then). You shall go ter prayer- 
meetin'. 

Star, (eagerly). Oh, I'm so glad you'll trust me. 

Three W. We'll make the attempt anyhow. 

Miss Prue. And now that you've promised not to disgrace 
us and be forever remindin' our neighbors that our cousin was 
once a 

Three VV. Heathen. 

Miss Prouty. We will all four once more go back and try 
over the rest of the hymns we shall sing this evening. 

Star, {eagerly). Oh, yes, yes, let's do. (^Goes r.) 
Please hurry. \_Exit. 

(The three wojnen alone look at o?ie another afid then.) 

Miss Prue. I do declare, I really believe that gal wants ter 
be like us after all ! 

Miss Prouty. I had her settin' there, in the front room, 



34 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

fer two hours tliis mornin' in that straight-backed chair, tellin' 
her about the Creator and all the beautiful things that hapijens 
ter them that believes in him, and iHustratin' my text with 
Bible stories, when bless my everlaslin' Ebenezer, right in the 
midst of it, when I thought she was really gettin' interested 
and Christian-like, if she didn't up and say that Joseph's coat 
of many colors couldn't beat Hulda's tights when it rained in 
on 'em. 

Three W. (zai'lh a shriek). Did you ever? 

Miss Prue. Yes, we've got our hands full teachin' Matthew 
Sterling's daughter ter remember the new and ferget the old; 
but 1 really do believe if we all three try hard ernough she'll be 
er credit fer Matthew ter put at the head of his table after we 
git through with her. 

Star. {looki7ig in r.). Aren't you coming? I think I know 
the first hymn already. Cousin Prudence, won't you play and 
let me turn over the music ? 

Three W. {aghast). Well, did you ever? 

{They all file out r. During the following scene the organ 
is heard playing softly the various hymns i?i a subdued 
manner accompanied by the singing — subdued. Door L. 
is opened and Deacon comes into the room followed by 
HoBBES, who is quite ivorked up and excited.) 

Deacon. Some one has pulled the window shade down and 
it makes the room a bit dark, but you can see your way out, 
Mr. Hobbes ! 

HoBBES. I'm blowed if I can, gent. Did any one ever see 
such luck ? 

Deacon. But the door is right there. {Points c.) 

HoBBES. Wal, I know it's thar, but that ain't the way out 
I was thinkin* of. Pll be all my stars and gallusses and all 
commotion and creation, if I can see my way out of the hole 
I'm in, door or no door. 

Deacon. Hole ? 

HoBBES. Yas, that's what it is, an' you put me thar. 
P'raps you call it er ditch, fer Fm ditched flat. Did any one 
ever see such luck ? 

Deacon. I'm sorry, Mr. Hobbes. 

HoBBES. Sorry ? H'm ! Do yer think that's goin' ter run 
my show, and pay my bills and get me off that everlastin' lot 
of yourn ? If somethin' don't bust soon, we'll be settin' thar 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 35 

till Jacob comes down his ladder, and Gabriel blows that horn 
you folks is alius quotin'. I wish I had er horn. I'd blow up 
the whole bloomin' neighborhood ! 

Deacon. I thought we had settled this matter, Mr. Hobbes. 

HoBBES. Now, look here, gent. I never made no settle- 
ment, fer I ain't been in the circus business fifty years almost, 
and Aim flammin' folks, ter have an easy mark made out er 
me. No, siree. I don't make no settlement where the other 
feller gets the best of the deebate. No, pard, that ain't the 
way I does business. 

Deacon. I am afraid you will have to come again, to-mor- 
row. 

Hobbes (aghast). What ? Hang eround here another day ? 

Deacon. And then, perhaps, you will be more in the mood 
to listen to reason. 

Hobbes. No, pard, thar ain't no mood that'll see me 
skinned. It ain't accordin' ter natur'. 

Deacon {who resents his fainiliarity). Perhaps you had 
better sit down, Mr. Hobbes. 

Hobbes. Perhaps I'd better stand. Time is pressin' and 1 
wants my final answer now. The question under deebate 
atween us is if you can be allowed, accordin' ter law, ter keep 
that gal and my head liner and ruin my show, and then expect 
me ter turn eround and pay you your price fer showin' on your 
lot, when I ain't got nothin' ter show with ? Did any one ever 
see such luck? It's er beat. It's er steal. 

Deacon. Steal, Mr. Hobbes? 

Hobbes. Yas. It's er downright swindle. Oh, I might er 
knowed I'd never git my recovery fer playin' through this 
county. I was busted when I come through here before ; but 
I guess — but that ain't the question under deebate. It's what 
do you intend ter do, pard ? 

Deacon. I have just found my little girl, and I certainly 
do not intend to allow her to continue with a vulgar lot of de- 
graded people. 

Hobbes {iighasi). Deegraded? 

Deacon. Even if she is a head liner, as you call it. 

Hobbes. Then you mean ter up and have the face ter tell 
me that the gal's goin' ter stay with you, and I must pay that 
rent before I move that show off your lot ? 

Deacon. I believe that is the way of it, Mr. Hobbes. 

Hobbes. Wal, did any one ever see such luck ? Sny, look 
here, pard, now I'll tell yer what I'll do • 



36 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

Deacon. Mr. Hobbes, you have already told me of the 
numerous things you are going to do, and I have given you 
my time to arrive at a satisfactory understanding, but, really, 
don't you think that it is my turn now? 

Hobbes (tighast). I'll be blowed if it ain't been your turn 
ever since we started. 

Deacon. However, in the future I shall refer you to my 
overseer and head man 

Hobbes. No, pard, I don't have no lackey throwed at me. 
I'm erbove servants. 

Deacon. Mr. Silas Hankum is not a servant. He is my 
business representative. You can call at his office in the vil- 
lage when you come to your senses, and pay the rent due on 
my lot. Until such time your show will remain under my 
control. That is sufficient. Good afternoon. 

Hobbes (aghast). Well, I'm blowed. No, I'm beat. No, 
I'm skun. Skun, and ter the tune of " Throw out the life 
line," too. Did any one ever see such luck? 

Deacon. Good-afternoon, Mr. Hobbes. 

Hobbes. Why don't you say git out, and be done with it ? 
It's ernough ter make an honest, decent, steady, civilized, 
naturalized citizen of this United States throw up the sponge 
and quit. X^uit. Let the whole blamed show go ter the devil, 
in plain English ; but I say, pard, if you think I'm goin' ter 
pay you that money, you don't know Adanirum Hobbes. 
Why, I'll let the whole blamed shootin' match go first ter 

Deacon (quickly and coldly). I said good-day, Mr. 
Hobbes. 

Hobbes [upset). Wal, all I can say about it is that it's the 
worst day I've struck yet. 

{He goes up. As he goes up stage, door R. opefis and Star. 
comes in, looking back into room.) 

Star, {speaking off). No, I won't be but a minute. 
Hobbes {discovering her). I'll be blowed if it ain't 



Star, {turning and seeing him ; running to him with a cry 
of delight). It's Pa ! Pa Hobbes ! Oh, Pa, I'm so glad to see 
you. How's Toney and Hulda and Black Bess? And oh, 

P {She catcJies sight of Deacon ivho is gazing at her 

with displeasure, and suddenly remefnberifig, she stops, and 
holding out her hand she says soberly.) I'm very glad you 
called upon me this afternoon, Mr. Hobbes. 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 37 

HoBBES {aghast ; Deacon stands watching all this scene 
critically"). VVluit's — whai's come over yer, Starlight? 

Star. You — you mustn't call me Starlight, Mr. Hobbes. 
You mustn't call me that any more. My name is Helen 
Sterling, now. 

Hobbes {Jinrt). Gittin' proud so soon, ain't yer? Even 
call me Mr. Hobbes. 

Star. {hurt). Oh, no, P — {quickly) Mr. Hobbes. 

Hobbes. Wal, I don't care if yer are. You ain't ever any- 
thin' else ter me but Starlight, and Starlight is what I am goin' 
ter call yer. 

♦Star, (after an instant). Please, please, Mr. Hobbes, 
won't you call me Helen ? 

Hobbes {cighast). What difference does it make, and where 
in the name of all persessed did yer git such er newfangled 
notion ? 

Star. Pve — Pve turned over a new leaf since last 1 saw 
you, Mr. Hobbes. Everything has changed. Pm not a little 
circus girl any longer. I'm — I'm Helen Sterling — now. 

Hobbes. Wal, I'll be blowed. {A pause and then.) Say, 
we miss yer awful. Starlight. 

Star, {eagerly). Oh, you do— ^you do miss me, Pa? Oh, 
and I miss you, too. I miss Toney, he was so kind, and 

Hulda and her man in Germany, and {Recollects ; 

soberly, ivith an effort.) I — I am different, indeed 1 am, 
Mr. Hobbes, don't you think? 

Hobbes. Wal, all I can say is, Pll be blowed if I know 
what ter think. It's worse than er Turkish route out er China 
ter me. I never did see such er difference in er gal in all my 
past hist'ry. Why, bless my stars and gallusses, if I'd er 
believed thar could be such er difference in a gal o' your style 
and shape. [With a shriek.) Shape? Why, there ain't no 
shape to yer now ! 

Star. Cousin Prudence says that it was vulgar for me to 
show my shape. 

Hobbes (aghast). Say, if that old hen had er shape like 
yourn, she wouldn't wear nothin' on it. 

Deacon. Mr. Hobbes, you are talking to my daughter, and 
a lady. 

Hobbes (aghast). A lady? I'm talkin' to er child. And 
such er child. My stars and the heavens they're shin in' in, 
what be yer tryin' ter do ter her, anyhow? Why, she ain't 
got no color, her eyes look back ter the day I was er boy, 



38 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

shinniii' fences and hookin' apples, they're so far erway, and 
that black dress of hers — say, what kind of an idea do you 
have about the way ter bring up children ? 

Deacon. Surely, Mr. Hobbes, you, being a circus pro- 
prietor, are not competent to tell me how to rear my child. 

Hobbes. Say, gent 

Star, {distressed). Oh, please don't, Pa — {quickly and 
soberly) Mr. Hobbes. You don't understand it at all. 

Hobbes. I'm blowed if I do. 

Star. It's all quite correct and proper, I am sure, and 
father knows what's best — don't you, father? 

Deacon. You have the right idea, Helen. 

Hobbes. Wal, I'm blowed if I have. (^Goes ?//€., affected.) 
I can't stay here any longer, gent. 

Star. Good-night, Mr. Hobbes. 

Hobbes {opening the door ; tipset). Good-night, Star — 
Miss Helen. 

Star. Oh, thank you. 

Hobbes {throwing np his hands). Wal, I'll be blowed. 

[Exit, c. 

{After he has rushed out c, leaving the door open, Star. 
goes up and shuts it, and then stands waiting pa tie?itly to 
be spoken to by Deacon, ivho has lighted a lamp on desk 
and is seated at table down l. c. and is busy looking over 
his papers. At last he looks up.) 

Deacon. You may come here, Helen. 

Star, {approaching him, timidly). May I please kiss you, 
father ? 

Deacon. Oh, no, indeed, Helen. Such things are entirely 
unnecessary and especially in one of your years — sixteen. 
You should never encourage affection, Helen ; it is apt to 
make one indiscreet. 

Star. But I'm sure I was never indiscreet when I was a 
cir 

Deacon. You need go no further. {A pause and then.) 
You may be seated, Helen. You need not stand. {As she 
throws herself into a chair before him in graceful abandon.) 
Is that the way my daughter seats herself? {Site rises quickly 
and sits again, slowly, folding her hands, patiently, and sitting 
up very straight.) That is very much better. Now let me 
look at you. 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 39 

Star, (as he puts down his papers and stares at her long 
and earnestly). Why ? 

Deacon. 1 want to see how you have improved. Yes, I 
really think you have. I do beheve that my three cousins 
have done wonders in three days. You may stand up, Helen. 
{As she does so.) Yes, they really have done wonders. Sit 
down, please. There, you did not forget. 

Star, (quietly). No, father. 

Deacon. Yes, you are really an interesting little girl. 

Star. What do you mean by interesting, father ? 

Deacon. I mean that you have many excellent qualities 
that my daughter, Helen Sterling, should possess. That there 
are splendid possibilities in your character for development in 
the future. 

Star, {startled). Future? 

Deacon. Yes. For instance, your voice has several sweet 
tones; but you must cultivate them, Helen. You must think 
every time you speak just how you should speak, as well as the 
words you are going to say and the thought you are going to 
express. At the present moment your voice is loud, ugly, 
harsh, quite strident to one of my temperament. In fact, it is 
quite unnecessary, Helen, for you to speak so loud. 

Star, {lowering her voice to almost a whisper). I — I'll try 
not to, father. 

Deacon. There, that really is much better. I have told 
you of your vulgar manner of sitting down, so I need not dwell 
on that longer. Now you are really quite intelligent for a 
young girl ; but your ideas come too suddenly and you speak 
before you think sufficiently, with the result that you are talk- 
ing while some one else has the conversation. All of which, 
in one of good birth, is extremely impolite and inconsiderate. 
But I think you will soon understand about that. Now I hope 
that you will always wear black — at least, for a time. Gaudy 
colors do not become you, Helen. It isn't your fault, I know. 
Most of your sex affect them, and the more of the rainbow 
they assume, the more dazzled they become with themselves ; 
besides, you have never been in mourning for your mother. 

Star, {with a cry). Oh, yes, I have, I have. I have 
always mourned for my mother. I always did and I always 

shall. Always. Always. Toney told me there in the circus 

{Recollects ; soberly. ) I — I forgot, father. 

Deacon {looking at her critically aft instant and then). 
Yes, I do think that you are a very interesting young girl. 



40 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

{Door R. opens a?id the three ladies enter, much upset. ) 
Miss Prue. She said she'd be back in er muiute 



Miss Prouty. Of course, she had no intention of coming 
back 

Miss Pross. I just knew we'd have all our pains fer 
nothing 

Three W. {discovering her'). Oh, here you be. 

Deacon. Yes, Helen has been here with me. We've been 
having a little heart to heart talk, and 1 have been telling her 
that I really think she is an interesting young girl. 

Three W. (aghast). Interesting? 

Miss Prue. That ain't no name fer it, Matthew. 

Miss Prouty. My land ! I guess it ain't, if you wastrem- 
blin' in your shoes whenever you took her anywheres fer fear 
she'd say something — something 

Miss Pross. Interesting ? 

Miss Prouty {with sarcasm). Yes, that's it. You'd have 
another adjective ter apply. 

Star. But Cousin Patience 

Deacon. Helen, have you forgotten our little talk so 
soon ? 

Star. Oh, no — no. {Breaks down.) Please, please, let 
me go away somewhere for a moment. Please. Please. 

Three W. (aghast). Did you ever? 

Deacon. Helen, you may go and get your things. {To 
ladies.) I take it that you are going to meeting? 

Three W. Prayer-meetin'. Ain't you goin' ? 

Deacon. Not this evening. I have some urgent business 
to transact. 

Miss Prouty. Deacon Hawkins is going to read that ar- 
ticle of his he wrote fer the Religious Beacon, on *'The Ele- 
vatin' Influence and Spiritual Development of the South Sea 
Islanders." 

Deacon. That will be most instructive, I'm sure. 

Three W. And we wouldn't miss it for worlds. 

Star. {goi?ig r., eagerly). I will come this time in a min- 
ute, I promise you. ^ [Exit, R. 

{A knock on door c.) 

Deacon. Come in. 

(Silas enters and comes into the room.) 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 4I 

Three W. Ah, Silas ! 

Silas. Evenin', Deacon. By gum, gals, it's a fine night, 
clear as crystal in the candelabra. The moon's immense. 
Yer won't need no lantern ter come from meetin' by ter-night. 
Gol darn it, but you can see straight ahead as far as the circus 
lot. 

Three W. {severely). Circus? 

Silas (icjanfiing up). By gum, gals, we did have er good 
time, didn't we, thar? 

Three W. (coolly). You did. 

Silas. I reckon you enjiyed it if yer never did go before. 
Anyway you knew the lion from the bearded lady. 

Three VV. (zvith a shriek). Silas Hankum ! 

Silas. But you did git pesky excited at that German strong 
woman 

Three VV. We ain't er-goin' ter talk erbout it. 

Silas (snickering). Wal, by gum, gals, you better not. 
You jist ought ter be kind er solemn, makin' such er fuss erbout 
her bare arms. 

Three W. (aghast). Bare arms? 

Silas. But you seen 'em, anyhow, and so did I, too. By 
gum, gals, I'll bet you can't show the dimples in yourn thar 
was in hern? 

Three W. (appeali?igly). Matthew ! 

Deacon. Silas, cannot you see that the subject is dis- 
tasteful ? 

Silas (injured). Wal, — wal, I ain't seen 'em since that 
day, ter talk erbout it, and I kind er want ter let off steam. 

Three W. (starling for the door). We shan't stay. 

Star, (entering r. She is dressed as primly as an elderly 
woman). I'm quite ready. 

(She gives the ladies their things.) 

Three W. (putting on their shatvls, bonnets , etc., up). 
Have you got your hymn-book ? 

Star. Oh, yes. (Sees Silas, who has been staring at 
her aghast at the sudden transforination.) Good-evening, Mr. 
Hankum. 

Silas. By gum, if I ever see (Recollects himself 

quickly.) Good-evenin'. Go right erlong and I'll foller. 

\_Exit all four, c. 

Deacon. I suppose you have come to see what I am going 
to do about that stranded circus ? 



42 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

Silas. I think we better have some understandin'. 

Deacon. Mr. Hobbes, the proprietor, has already had 
another tiresome interview with me, and I told him that I 
would give him until to-morrow afternoon to settle up, or the 
show must go under the hammer. 

Silas (ughast). The hull of it? {Recovers himself .) But 
ain't that er bit sudden, Deacon ? 

Deacon. Sudden, Silas? I really am surprised at you, 

Silas. But the poor man won't have time ter raise er dollar. 

Deacon. It is not to my interest to consider this man's time 
and the dollars he is gomg to raise, Silas. 

Silas. By gum, it seems ter me you're pinchin' him just er 
bit, Deacon. 

Deacon. Well, we need not argue the point. The land is 
mine, the show is on it; the debt is mine, not yours, Silas, and 
therefore, it rests with me to do as 1 think best, 

Silas. Of course, of course. Deacon \ but bein' your ad- 
viser I'd say 

Deacon. Collect or close, that's my motto. 

Silas. Wal — wal, I'd think it over fust. 

Deacon. You'll have plenty of opportunity to do so on your 
way to meeting, Silas. 

Silas. By gum — by gum {Goes j/pc) I'll take the 

hint. [Exit, c. 

Deacon {alone). Now the note to tell the sheriff to be pre- 
pared. That man, Hobbes, won't be able to pay. It's impos- 
sible. I'll show him how the righteous shall triumph. {He 
writes, and for several instants there is Jiothing heard but the 
scratching of his pen. At last door c. is thrown open 
suddenly and Toney bursts into the room breathless from run- 
ning. He slams the door and wheels on Deacon, 7vho rises, 
startled, and folding his arrns gazes at him. He is in his 
clown's dress of the first act, but is without his clown fnake- 
up. He thro7vs his hat on a chair along ivith a bundle which 
he carries done up in a cloth, and then turns on Deacon.) 
You — you come here to my house, and in such a dress? What 
do you mean, sir? 

Toney. I mean just this, Matthew Sterling; that I can't 
stand it any longer. It ain't human natur', and no man that 
has real flesh and blood in his constitution, even if he don't go 
ter church, would either. 

Deacon, Have you come here to utter a protest on religious 
belief? 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 43 

TONEY. No, I ain't. When I want ter do that I'll go where 
I'll be heard. I've come ter have a little talk with you. It 
ain't erbout myself, though God knows it ought ter be after the 
way you treated my Nellie. It's erbout Pa Hobbes ! Matthew- 
Sterling, you're goin' ter ruin him. 

Deacon. How can I possibly ruin him ? 

ToNEY. Oh, you seem ter have the hang of it all right. Pa 
Hobbes has stood by me through thick and thin, and I can't 
stand eround with my hands tied when he's sufferin' and down 
in the mouth. Why, I've been with him ever since you had 
that religious fit and drove me out er this village. 

Deacon. Drove you out ? 

ToNEY. Well, yer might call it somethin' else. But, any- 
how, I couldn't stand by and see you prosper when you broke 
my Nellie's heart and disowned her own child. 

Deacon. And you took my daughter and ran away with a 
circus. It's you I have to thank for that. And just see how 
you have brought her up. 

ToNEY. Can you find a gal that's been brought up better; 
that has better manners ; that's brighter, smarter, more uncon- 
scious of herself and her gain ; that can laugh prettier ; that 
can smile so innocent ; that has such eyes and such pretty curly 

hair and Yes, 1 brought her up, to be er credit to yer, 

Matthew Sterling, if the time should ever come that I couldn't 
stand in her way any longer and had ter tell. Yes, I brought 
her up. 

Deacon. In such a manner that it takes all the time and 
patience of three women, her own sex, to undo the things she 
has learned among such associations. 

Toney {with a cry). I don't believe it. 

Deacon. You don't need to. 

Toney. But I ain't come fer that. What I want ter know 
is what are you going ter do to Hobbes? 

Deacon. Sell him out. 

/roNEY (aghast). Sell him out? 

Deacon. Under the hammer goes that show to-morrow 
afternoon, unless I get my money. Everything goes, even to 
the last bit of rope. I shall wipe such wickedness out of this 
universe. Now that this thing has come into my hands, I in- 
tend to put a stop to such glittering vice flaunting, dazzling 
wretchedness as an example to the young and foolish all about 
us. And I thank the Almighty that it's my opportunity to save 
our homes in time. 



44 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

ToNEY. Matthew Sterling, were you born without er place 
fer human feelings? 

Deacon. 1 was born to be what I am. 

ToNEY. Well, you may be the type of a God-fearin' Chris- 
tian man ; but if yer are, then I thank God who made me, 
too, that 1 ain't one er your kind. 

Deacon. If you have come here to insult me, this interview 
is ended. 

{Starts f 07- door L.) 

Toney {following hini). No, no, not just yet. 

Deacon {tiir7iing). What else have you to say ? 

Toney. I've got considerable that I want ter say, but I 
don't know as you'll let me say it. 

Deacon {witli a supercilious smile). Ah ! 

Toney. But I'm goin' ter say some of it an)/how, and 
you'll listen 

Deacon. Listen ? 

Toney. I cal'late you think I ain't had no eyesight; that 
I've been blind all these days; that I ain't seen the way things 
was goin' 

Deacon. Going ? 

Toney {hotly). Oh, yes, I've watched the whole pro- 
ceedin' 

Deacon. To what do you have reference, Mr. O'Hara? 

Toney. This trap you've been settin'. 

Deacon. Trap ? 

Toney. To place Pa Hobbes in. Oh, I've seen your hand 
in everything that's been goin' on. Hobbes hired the land, 
you rented it ; Hobbes had ter have hay, you pervided it ; 
Hobbes had ter have the ile ter see by, you sold it ter him, and 
charged him your price. {As Deacon demurs.) Oh, 1 seen 
the bill. Hobbes had ter have oats, you gave him out er your 
bins at your figger for there was no one else ter break up the 
monopoly; and the wood ter burn come from your wood-pile. 
Yes, you pervided the show, you kept us erlive at your price, 
and now yer ain't content with doin' all that ; but you're goin' 
ter up and sell the show ter git double the interest back on 
your money. And you ain't goin' ter do it. 

Deacon. Who's going to })revent me? 

Toney. I will. 

Deacon {ivith a sneer). And what can you do? 

Toney. Save that show, if it takes my last dollar ! 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 45 



Deacon. Have you the five hundred? 
ToNEY {aghast'). Five hundred? 
Deacon. Wilh extras, inchidino^ 



't) 



ToNEY (with a sneer). Hay, grain, wood, lie — It's 

outrageous. 

Deacon. If you haven't the money, don't make ex- 
cuses 

ToNEY. I won't ! You make out your bill. (As Deacon 
sits at table and prepares.) Ter me, of course. 

Deacon (afi instant). Very well. (^He writes. After an 
instant.) There you are. 

Toney {tossing him a wallet). There you are. 

Deacon. I'll count it before you go, please. (Bus.) 

Toney. And you'll receipt that bill before I go, please. 

Deacon. Certainly. (Takes up the money.) It's all right. 

Toney (taking the receipt). So's this. Now we're quits 
and I'll go back and tell Hobbes 

Deacon (getting up). Do you mean to say that Hobbes 
knows nothing of this transaction ? 

Toney. Yes. He's got ter think yoii give him er respite as 
they calls it. Besides I — I can't tell him I did it. 

Deacon (coldly). Good-evening. 

Toney. It is er good evenin' — the happiest in my evenin' 
er life, fer I've saved Hobbes and I've saved the show, too, and 
what's more than all the rest put tergether, I've got er clear 
conscience'. I've done good ! 

(Door c, back, is burst open and Ned comes into the room.) 

Deacon (surprised). Ned ! 

(^o^YX goes up.) 

Ned (coining doivn; excitedly). I had to come in; I 
couldn't wait ! Father, I'm going away. 

Deacon. Going away? 

Ned. Yes, and I'm never coming back. 

Deacon. What nonsense. 

Ned (with a cry of distress). It isn't nonsense. If you 
were in my position, you'd do the same, and you'd go without 
telling your father first, as I intended to do ; but Helen made 
me promise to tell you. Oh, father, you don't know what it is 
to suffer this way. 



46 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

Deacon. Suffer? You should have some real suffering, 
and then you would know that there is a difference between a 
boyish flirtation and real pain, and heartache. 

Ned {with a cry). My heart is broken ! Oh, father, I 
can't stay here every day and remember that I am her brother. 

ToNEY {imderstanding the situation). Her brother? 

Ned. Oh, sir, take me with you ! Let me go away with 
you ! 

Toney (aghast). Matthew Sterling, do you mean ter say 
you ain't told him 

Deacon. Silence ! 

Toney (with a cry). Do you mean ter say that you're 
goin' ter keep these two young folks erpart and make them 
miserable all the rest er their lives for 

Deacon. Stop. 

Ned (bewildered). What is it, father? 

Toney. He ain't your father. 

Ned. Not my father? 

Toney. No, he ain't no relation to yer. (Deacon throivs 
up his Jiands and sinks down staring before him overcome.) 
He took you when you was a baby ter replace my darter's little 
gal, because you was er boy. 

Deacon (struggling with emotio?i and ange^in chair L. C. ; 
hoarsely). It's a lie. It's a lie. 

Toney. No, it ain't er lie. It's God's truth, because ray 
Nellie told me all erbout it on her death bed, and my NeUie 
wouldn't lie then. She said that you did it on the quiet so 
that you could git that money 

Ned (with a cry). Money? Father, is your heart made 
of steel ? 

Toney (as Deacon collapses). Yes, your folks died and 
left you an infant with money in trust ter whoever took yer. 
Matthew Sterling's wife, my gal Nellie, was married ter him 
four years before Starlight come, and he was so mad ter think 
she was what she was that he up and drove my gal home ter 
me ter die. Then he took you and yer money and come here 
ter this place where his folks hadn't seen him fer five years and 
didn't know the truth, and brought you up. I followed him 
here, but no one would believe my story, and I had ter git out 
with Starlight. 

Ned. Is this true, father ? 

Deacon (controlling himself zaith an effort). Do you 
doubt my word against that man's? 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 47 

(Ned gives him a look. ; tJieii goes deliberately to door c.) 

ToNEY. It's God's truth, boy. You'll believe me ? You'll 
believe me? 

Deacon (getting up ivith a cry, as Ned goes yp to door c). 
Where are you going ? 

Ned. I'm going to Starlight. I'm going to the girl I love. 

Deacon. Then you believe him? 

Ned {opening door). Yes, because my heart says he tells 
the truth. (He runs out c.) 

Deacon (sinking back into his chair overcome). And you've 
done this. It's you I have to thank. It's you. You. 

Toney (sadly). You drove me ter it. You killed my 
darter; you broke my heart; you sent me erdrift; you did all 
that and I never said nothin' ter be heard ; but if you thinjc 
I'll stand aside and see you triumph in your greed fer gold, 
you ain't reckonin' on my make-up. No, Matthew Sterling, 
your day er reckonin' is comin' if yer be er Christian, and 
them that'll judge you won't take no lies. It's comin' some 
day. (Turns c.) Now I'm goin'. 

Deacon. One moment ! One moment ! 

Toney. No, I'm done. I've hed my say and I've done my 
duty. Now you do yours. 

Deacon. Mine ? 

Toney. Make them two young folks happy. Oh, the boy's 
cash can still stay in the family. 

Deacon. You insolent 

Toney (quietly and sadly). No, I'm only er clown, a 
ragged cast off garment hangin' on ter life, ter flutter out 'ere 
in the wind and amuse the crowd who laugh at me one day 
and cry the next. I s'pose it's my life, and I'm goin' back 
there ter laugh with 'em. 

(As he turns to go up, door c. is flung op€7i and Star, bursts 
into the room breathless. Deacon goes out quietly during 
this scene, abashed.) 

Star, (with a cry). Toney ! I've seen Hulda, and she 
says you're here. Toney ! 

(As she runs into his arms, weeping.) 

Toney (embracing her). My little gal ! 
Star. Yes, I am your little girl, Toney, I am, and I'll 
never be any other's. You love me, and Hulda loves me, and 



48 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

Pa Hobbes, too, and I shan't be so pious, and silent, and still 

and suffer, just because — because {Recollects ; soberly.) 

Oh, Toney, what am I saying? 

{She dries her eyes and tries to control herself with difficulty.') 

Toney {looking at her, puzzled). I cal'late, pet, you're 
say in' er great lot, and it's hard work to follow yer. 

Star, {quickly). Yes, that's my trouble. Father said only 
to-night that I talked too fast, that I was too boisterous, that I 
was — and I forgot, Toney, I forgot again. 

Toney. Fergot what ? 

Star. That I am Helen Sterling now, and must act dif- 
ferently. 

Toney. Act differently? Act? Do folks of intelligence 
when they git up in the world have ter act? Can't they be 
real and human? Say, pet, what's got inter your head? 

Star, {sadly). Oh, so much, Toney. You don't know, 
Toney, you can't begin to realize all that I've been through. 
{Quickly.) But I'm really doing well, very well, and Cousins 
Prudence, Patricia and Patience say I am. 

Toney. Them old hens? 

Star. Oh, you mustn't talk like that. You think Pm dif- 
ferent, Toney? 

Toney {holding her off and looking at her long and ear- 
nestly, a7id then with feeling). I never see such er sight. 

Star, {with a cry of pain). Toney ! 

Toney. Who told yer ter wear black? 

Star. They said it was proper. 

Toney {with a cry). Proper ! Take it off. Put on pretty 
white dresses, and ril)bons — put 'em on. Put 'em on. And 
your hair, them lovely curls — what's happened ter them curls? 

Star, {sadly). Cousin Prudence combed them out. She 
said 1 was a mess. 

Toney {with a cry, almost unable to control himself). I 
wish she'd come in here now. I'd show her what er mess 
really looked like. 

Star, {with a cry). Oh, Toney ! 

Toney {sadly, recovering himself ajid drawing her to hiin). 
Yes, Starlight, you are different. 

Star. For the best, Toney. You know Pm Helen Sterling 
— now. 

Toney {7vith feeling). I know you're Helen Sterling, but 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 49 

you're my little gal, too, and I'm not er-goin' ter have you any 
different than the way you was born. 
Star. And that was as 1 am now ? 

ToNEY {iin instant while he struggles, and then quietly). 
Yes. {A pause and then.) Be yer happy, pet ? 

Star, {startled ; a pause and then). Oh, yes, yes — I — I 
am, Toney. It's difficult being different, but — but I'm trying 
hard, very hard, and I know that when I get all changed I 
shall be very happy. 

Toney (sadly). Yes. 

Star, {zvith a cry). But oh, Toney, I have missed you so. 
And dear Pa Hobbes, and oh, Toney, how's Black Bess, and 
Jocko, and Madam Bonnelli and the tumblers, and the Herr 
Professor ? 

Toney {sadly). All there. 

Star. You don't say it very cheerfully. 

Toney. Things ain't goin' at all well. 

Star. They never are. 

Toney. The bosses don't git any better, and the whole 
town is kickin' erbout our bein' on that lot so long. We're 
bankruptin' the whole place, they say ; but I don't see how it 
can bankrupt anybody when no one goes. 

Star. Do you think you can stay there two days longer, 
Toney ? 

Toney (with difficulty). We'll have ter. 

Star, (eagerly). Then you will come and see me every 
day for two days ? 

Toney. Yes, pet. 

Star. Why do you hesitate ? 

Toney (an instant, and then^. I was only thinkin'. Yer 
see things are different, now. Besides, you're a little gal and 
I'm an old man 

Star, (with a cry). But that makes no difference between 
us, Toney. It made none before. You won't let that stand 
between us now ? 

Toney (soothing her). No, no, pet, it ain't that. It ain't 
the difference in age, but it's the difference that you're some 
one else's little gal now, and — 

Star, (with a cry). No, I'm not, Toney. I'm only your 

little girl even if I (Recollects ; an instant and then, 

soberly:) Yes, Toney, I — I am some one else's little girl. 

Toney. You won't be angry with me, pet? 

Star, (throwing her arms about him). No, Toney, no. I 



50 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

love you better Lliau I do thetn. I love only you, Toney, 
yuii. 

Toney {lira^ving her to hini). My little gal. My dear, 
sweet, real little gal. 

i^They are together in each other' s embrace ivhen door c. is 
opened fwiseiessly and the three ladies stand on the thresh- 
old. They stand aghast for an instant staring at the 
picture, exchange decided looks, and tlien having made np 
their minds what they intend to do, they enter and proceed 
to remove their wraps and Miss Prue slams the door 
shut. The noise startles the pair and they break ivith 
some confusion and not without trepidation. The three 
ladies go on ivith their business of folding up things, etc., 
coolly and completely ignoring the pair.) 

Star. Oh, oh, you've comeback? It's — it's only Toney. 
It's just Toney ! You know Toney ? 

{There is no answer from them except a cold stare and the?i 
they resume their work.) 

Toney (goi/ig to the door). It'll be all right, pet, as sOon 
as I get out. 

Star, {ivith a cry). Toney, you won't leave me ? I — 
I {Soberly.) Yes, it will be all right, Toney. Good- 
night. 

Toney {an instant, and then). Good-night. 

{Stops as if to say more and then ivith an inarticulate cry 
of helplessness he runs out C.) 

Star, {calling ; in the doorway up c). Give my love to 
Pa Hobbes and Jocko and Black Bess and Madam Bonnelli 
and the tumblers and {Sadly.) He's gone. 

Three W. {who have come down and are standing waiting 
impatiently to have it out). Yes, he's gone. 

Star, {coming in quickly and closing the door, and coming 
dow7i). What is it ? 

{Startled at the tone of their voices.) 

Miss Prue. Well, bless my conscience and my scruples, if 
I can hold my temper another minute. Ter think that after 
all my time 



Miss Pross. Trouble — 
Miss Prouty. Patience 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 5 1 

Miss Prue. You ain't no better and never will be no bet- 
ter. And then, ter have the impudence 

Miss Pross. Indecency 



Miss Prouty. Flagrant disrespect 

Miss Prue. Ter do such er thing like that right before my 
eyes. 

Star, {innocently'). What? 

Three W. (with a shriek). What? 

Miss Prue. Well, I never 

Miss Pross. I'm beat 

Miss Prouty. I never heard of such audacity. 

Three W. In all my born days. 

Star. If — if I've done anything, I'm very sorry ; but really, 
it was only Toney, my Toney, who I've known all my life, 
and 

Miss Prue. And grantin' all that. Grantin' that he is yer 
friend, and er circus critter, and er cast-off besides, grantin' all 
that, ter think that you, Matthew Sterling's daughter, should 
up and tell us that you have er perfect right ter hug er 
man 

Miss Prouty. Beast 

Miss Pross. Brute 



Three W. And in our presence. 

Miss Prue. You tell us that ? 

Miss Prouty. You really do ? 

Star, {innocently). But why not ? 

Miss Prue. I told you, Patricia, she's quite beyond us. 

Miss Pross. Yes, but I thought a little of our understandin' 
might bring her up. 

Miss Prouty. You might know that she'd go wrong the 
very first time she gits er chance. Them critters alius does. 

Star, {beivildered). Oh, please, please stop. 

Miss Prue. Yes, and it shall be right here, this very min- 
ute. I'm going ter wash my hands of the whole thing. {To 
others.) I don't care what you do, but I'm goin' and have it 
right out with Matthew Sterling this minute. {Goes l.) 

Miss Pross. And I shall too. {Goes l.) 

Miss Prouty. And so will I. 

Star, {frightened). What are you going to do? 
. Three W. {turning on her at door i..). Oh, you'll know 
later. 

Star. I'm sorry if I have done wrong. Believe me, I am, 
I am. 



52 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

Miss Prue {Jz nocking on the door). Matthew ! 
Deacon (^inside). Yes? 
Three W. You must see us ! 
Deacon. Come in. 

{They exit ivith their noses in the air and slain the door.) 

Star, {alone, standing c). Oh, I'm so tired of it all. So 
very tired. So very tired. {She sinks doivn on the floor and 
for an instant closes her eyes to shut it all out. Then she 
opens her eyes and suddenly discovers tJie bundle Toney left 
lying on the chair up stage, which has escaped the eyes of the 
three women owing to their being so upset.) Somebody's left 
their bundle ! {She crosses and takes it up.) Why, it's for 
me ! It's Toney 's handwriting. {She tears it open feverishly. 
With a cry.) It's my dress ! {She drops to the floor and 
spreads the contents of the bundle in her lap.) It's Columbine's 
dress. My pretty Columbine's dress and my ribbons and my 
slippers and my mask and all the dear, dear things that I love. 
They're all here. All of them, even to the bows of ribbon. 
Oh, Toney, Toney, you knew I loved them. You knew. Oh, 
it's so good of you. You knew they'd cheer me up, they'd 
give me strength to bear all this life. You knew, Toney, you 
knew. {Pauses.) But why should he bring them now — now? 

Why didn't he wait until {Startled, she gets up and 

goes quickly across to the ivindoio r. u. e., and throivs up the 
shade and stares off. An instant, and then a shriek.) Toney, 
Toney, you lied to me, you lied to your little girl. You are 
not coming to-morrow. The circus has gone — yes, there's 
nothing left but the sawdust there in the moonlight. It's gone ! 
It's gone ! It's gone ! Oh, Toney, Hulda, Pa, come back, 
I can't stand it. Come back to your little girl. {With a 
scream.) I want to run, and laugh, and play, and I can't, and 
I'll die here. Til die ! I'll die ! I'll die ! 

{She falls to the floor sobbing convulsively in the skirt of her 
Colujfibine dress as the curtaiii comes down.) 



ACT III 

SCENE. — Sa7ne as Act I. Several days later. Herr P. ajid 
HuL. are discovered huddled together^ c, about an old trunk. 
HuL. is seated on the trunk crying bitterly, while Herr P. 
is seated o?i the ground with his back against the trunk. 
They are both in street dress. Outside the rain is heard 
pouring in torre?its. An instant and the?i the voice of 
HoBBES is heard outside l. u. e. 

HoBBES. Yes, gents, it's breakin' my heart ter dojt, but 
thar ain't no other way of gittin' out er this God-forsaken state 
unless I put my stuff under the hammer. You're goin' ter git 
awful bargains, awful sacrifices awful cheap, and the worst of 
it is, gents, it's me, Adanirum George Washington Hobbes, 
what's got ter give 'em ter yer, take yer money and say nothin'. 
Did any one ever see such luck? Wal, now here yer go, gents. 
What am I offered fer this pile of tent poles ? What am I 
offered? What, nothin' ? You won't buy them tent poles? 
Kindlin' wood? Wal, Pll be blowed. Wal, what' 11 yer give 
for kindlin' wood? I've got ter sell 'em, gents, I've got ter. 

Herr P. Don't cry, Huldaih. 

HuL. Ach Himmel ! how can I help it, Ja ? Dere is 
nothin' else ter do mit myself and feelings. (^She sobs.) 

Herr P. Yais, eet eez zee bust up now wiz me, and no 
money I get eef he do not sell zem tent poles. 

HuL. You ain't got no heart, Professor. You're all mit 
der dollar ! 

Herr P. You say zat, eh, Huldaih, you mistake. 

HuL. (sobbijig). Well, you nefer lose your husband. 

Herr P. (making a wry face). No. 

HuL. Ach Himmel ! He die. He die. Dot's what I cry 
about mit myself and not dis old show. Ter think dot I've 
been er widder five weeks, and not know der difference ! Ach 
Himmel ! Ach Himmel ! 

Herr P. Yais, Huldaih ; but we none of us know anyzing 
wiz 'zee show on zee bum, and zee lettairs from zee grand Etalee 
tied up zere in zee mail. 

HuL. Dot's it, tied up. Dot's me now. Oh, ter think dot 
I am er widder and I nefer can get er divorce. 

53 



54 THE SAWDUST qULiliN 

Herr p. (aghast). Divorce, Huldaih ? 

HuL. Dot's which. Ach Himmel ! I starve ter death 
now. No one looks at widders like dey does divorcees. Dey 
ain't der style mit demselves. {Sobs.) 

(TONEY comes into the tent, l. u. e.) 

TONEY. Things ain't goin' very well, Hulda. Pa Hobbes 
is talkin' himself hoarse. 

HuL. Hoss? Not Black Bess ? 

ToNEY. Oh, Hulda, I wish I had that money, that five 
hundred. P'rhaps I could save her, for I can't bear to see my 
little gal's pet go under the hammer. There's no knowin' 

who'll buy her, and — and if I thought she'd be abused 

But I ain't got the money, Huldah, I ain't got the money. 

{He sits down.) 

HuL. I'm broke too, Toney. 

ToNEY. And Black Bess must go under the hammer. 

HuL. What you do mit yourself about it, Toney? 

Toney. I can't do anythin', Hulda. I'm powerless. It's 
ernough ter break er man's heart to see the way Pa Hobbes is 
up against it. Why, they're standin' right there and makin* 
him sell off the things when he can't git nothin' fer 'em. I 
never did see such humanity. 

HuL. Well, dey say it's a circus, Toney. 

Toney {bitterly). Yes, it's a circus, and that's all they 
know about it. 

Hobbes {outside). Wal, now here's er lot er boardin' we 
calls seats 

Toney {sadly). He's had ter give them tent poles away, 
Hulda. 

Hobbes {outside). Now what am I offered fer them seats? 
What? You won't give me anythin' for 'em? 

Toney. The tent is full of a lot of loafers, Hulda. They 
just came in to see the fun and git out er the rain. 

Herr P. Eet eez always raining heer, Toney. I am wet all 
ovair. I sheever wiz zee slop. {Goes r.) I go put on more. 

\^Exit. 

Toney. Well, keep er stout heart. Professor, and we'll get 
out of this somehow. 

HuL. I wish I had dot disposition mit myself you have, 
Toney. 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 5^ 

ToNEY. What's the use in bein' downhearted ? 

HuL. (sobbing). Toney ! Was you nefer dere ? 

ToNEY. I've been there so many times, Hulda, that I'm 
used to it. 

HuL. How can I efer get used ter being a widder ? 

Toney. Cheer up, Hulda, there are others ! 

HuL. Ach Himmel, Toney, how can I cheer up when 
dere's no show, no Starlight 

Toney (affected). Starlight. 

HuL. You left her dere, Toney ? 

Toney. Yes, it most broke my heart, Hulda. It most 
broke my heart. 

Hobbes (outside). Gents, I must say that was er fair offer 
you made fer them seats. Now I'm goin' ter dispose of this 
canvas. 

HuL. (quietly; after an instant's study of Toney). 
Toney? 

Toney (quietly). Yes? 

HuL. Why you tell dem what she was for? 

Toney. I did it for her good, Hulda. 

HuL. And our bad, Toney ? 

Toney. I know it looks that way, Hulda ; but she's my 
little gal, my little granddaughter, and has er right to be as 
good as any of 'em. I wasn't goin' to stand by and see her 
dragged in the dirt and degraded by her own flesh and blood. 
So I left her, Hulda, and she's learning to be a lady. 

HuL. And she nefer come back to der circus no more ? 

Toney (sadly). Never. 

HuL. (after a pause). Den she forget you, Toney. 

Toney (with a cry; frightened). No — no, Hulda! My 
little gal will never forget her Toney ! Don't say that, Hulda ! 
Don't say that ! 

Hobbes (outside). Wal, all I can say is, gents, you got 
that lot of canvas at er bargain, a sacrifice ! 

Toney. It's most time for Black Bess. 

(The voices of the three ladies are heard outside the tent up 
back c. They seefn to be in great distress, and are evi- 
dently in search of something. The characters upon the 
stage having only the thickness of tent cloth between are 
conscious of all the dialogue ivhich folloivs.) 

Miss Prue (outside). I do believe this is the way we went 
in on that awful day. 



56 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

Miss Pross. {outside). It does look like it, though I 
can't see fer the life of me how you can tell when it all looks 
the same all the way around. 

Miss Prue. I trust in the Lord ter lead me right. 

Miss Prouty {outside, with a shriek). And you think 
he'll show you the way inter a circus tent? 

Miss Prue. I never thought of that. 

HuL. {startled). Where haf I seen dem voices before, 
Toney ? 

ToNEY {listening). They do sound as if I knew 'em, 
Hulda. 

Miss Prue {outside). There, here's a rip in the tent. 

Miss Pross. 1 shan't shinny. 

Miss Prouty. It's impossible fer one in your condition. 
You just follow me. Perhaps we shall find help, if it is a 
circus tent. 

Miss Prue. Well, it would be the last thing Pd ever go to. 

Miss Pross. Well, there ain't nowhere else. Ain't they 
turned us down everywhere? 

{The curtains at the back of the tent c. are pulled apart and 
the three ladies come into the tent led by Miss Prouty. 
They are a "dejected looking trio, havi?ig been in aii acci- 
dent. Their hair is disarranged, clothiiig is muddy y and 
they are very wet. Miss Prue walks with difficultyy 
which she tries not to heed, and Miss Pross, keeps hold 
of her sister's left arm. Their demeanor is also very 
different front that of the first act. All three are pretty 
much exhausted. Toney and Hul. recognize them in- 
stantly but make no sign. The three ladies come down c. 
and stand an instant at a loss just what to do at such a 
cool reception, a dejected trio.) 

Three W. {timidly). Good — good -afternoon. 

Toney. It is — a bit rainy. 

Miss Prouty. We — we didn't think we'd have occasion to 
come again quite so soon. 

Toney {flaring up). I suppose you think it's your Chris- 
tian duty to. 

Three W. {distressed). No — no; but we hope you'll 
think it's your Christian duty to 

Toney {getting up). Show you the way out ergain ? 

Three W. {greatly distressed). Oh, you won't do that? 
You won't do that? 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 57 

ToNEY (Jiotly). Why not? You don't belong here. 
You've no right here. No, you've throwed stones, and then 
you think you're goin' to come and sit right down on the spot 
you've hit. Well, you'll find it's still pretty warm yet, and 
it'll take a long time to cool off. What yer come here fer any- 
how ? Ain't we goin' ter the devil fast ernough without havin' 
you fer company? 

Three W. (with a gasp). Well, I never ! 

ToNEY. And that's what I say, too. And I mean it. 

{Slfs.) 

Miss Prue (suddenly I wiping to a seat and sitting down). 
I — I can't go any further if I am going to the devil, as you call 
it. I — I can't even stand, my ankle pains me so. I must sit 
down. 

(She sits and the other two gather about her distressed. 
ToNEY rises, alarmed, and goes across to her greatly 
concerned and full of pity.) 

ToNEY. AVhat's the trouble? Thar's somethin' hurtin' yer. 
Look here, you're in pain ? 

Miss Prue. Yes. 

ToNEY. Wal — wal, Hulda, you take off that shoe of hers. 
(^Goes R., as Hul. bus.) Herr Professor? 

Herr P. (off R.). Yais, Toney. 

ToNEY. You fetch that bottle of liniment Starhght used on 
Jocko, the monkey. 

Three W^ (ivith a shriek). Monkey? 

Miss Prue (wringing her hands). Oh, I can't bear a 
monkey ! 

Toney (coming back). But you can bear the liniment? 

Miss Prue (quickly). Oh, yes, I must have that. 

Toney. But what's the trouble, and how did yer git here? 

Miss Prouty (embarrassed). Well, you see, we left 
Cousin Matthew's 

Miss Pross. It's two days, now. 

Miss Prouty. We've just been makin' a visit and started 
home — it's only fifteen mile further on — by train ; but the 
train we were in 

Three W. Got wrecked. 

Miss Prue. And we didn't know nothin* when we come to 
except that we was layin' on the bank, and the only thing ter 
do was to 



58 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

Three W. Walk. 

HuL. Ach Himmel ! 

TONEY. Walk? With that foot? 

Miss Prouty. Well, we had to go somewhere to be taken 
in 

Miss Prue. But no one seemed to care if we were in- 
jured 

Miss Pross. Why, we went to five houses, and they 
wouldn't deign to even look out the window at us. 

Miss Prue. Of course, we do look like tramps. 

Miss Pross. But it isn't our fault. 

Miss Prouty. So we had to keep a-goin' in the rain, and 
we thought perhaps we might 

Three VV. Walk home. 

Miss Prue. And then we saw the circus tent 

Three W. (relieved^. And here we are. 

ToNEY {as Herr p. enters r.). And here's the liniment. 
Now, Hulda, you better not take off her stocking. {As he 
gives it to her.) Wal, your foot is swelled. 

Miss Prue. A trifle; but I'm glad no bones is broken. 

(ToNEY bifids the foot tightly tvith cloth zvhich Herr P. 
brings with the liniment. HuL. ponrs on tJie linifuent. 
The tivo women stand looking on.^ 

Miss Pross. Well, who'd er thought that we'd find succor 
in a circus tent ? 

ToNEY. AVal, yer never know what you're goin' ter find in 
this world or where you're goin' ter find it till yer look. Why, 
even the darkest hole has the brightest light sometimes. 

Three W. {eloquefitly). That's true. 

ToNEY {discoverifig Miss Pross.'s hand). What's the 
matter with your wrist ? 

Miss Pross. It's a trifle bruised. 

ToNEY (bus.). Bruised? Skin all scraped off. Some 
more that liniment. Professor. (As he bus.) I'll bind it up 
for yer. (Bus.) 

Miss Pross. (as he bus.). I am ashamed of myself, and the 
way I've talked erbout a circus bein' wicked. 

ToNEY (as he binds up her arm). It's done you more good 
than it has me, especially when you don't have time ter look 
at life except through church winders that are generally so 
narrow to look through that yer can't git the focus on the 
worshipers outside. 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 59 

Three W. (^aghast). How you do talk. 

Miss Prue \soberly'). Well, I must say, I ain't looked at 
it that way before. 

HoBBES ijieard outside'). Now, gents, I'm goin' ter put up 
the prize of the whole auction 

Three W. (aghast). Auction? 

ToNEY (quietly). Yes, yer see we're sellin' out the show 
for debt and we won't have nothin' left over us, soon, but 
God's good nature. 

HoBBES (outside). As I said, gents, I'm goin' ter offer the 
horse 

ToNEY (affected^. Black Bess. She was Starlight's pet. 
My little gal's. 

HoBBES (outside). How much am I offered for her, gents? 
How much am I offered ? 

Miss Prue (suddenly; with a cry). Patience Prouty and 
Patricia Prossitt, Pm goin' ter buy that boss. 

i:\N0\N. (aghast). What for? 

Miss Prue. Out of return fer what these folks have done 
fer me. 

ToNEY (with a cry). Oh, you will? You will? 

Two W. We'll help you. 

HoBBES (outside). What am I offered? Fifty dollars? 
Going at fifty — fifty 

ToNEY (going lip L. u. E., with a cry). Hold on. Pa. 

Miss Prue. I'll give seventy-five 

ToNEY (tip). Seventy- five. Pa. 

Hobbes (outside). Going at seventy-five — seventy-five — 
eighty 

Miss Pross. Ten more. 

ToNEY (up). Ninety ! Ninety on Black Bess, Pa. 

Hobbes (outside). Ninety — going at ninety — ninety — one 
hundred dollars. Going at one hundred dollars — going — 

going (All three ladies have been looking at each other 

in dismay while Toney, much upset, has been standing up.) 
One hundred dollars — once — one hundred dollars — twice — one 
hundred dollars 

Miss Prue (suddenly, with a shriek). Wait ! Wait 1 It's 
in my — wait a minute ! 

(She is greatly distressed, and signs for the other two women 
to gather about her and hold up their skirts while she 
dives into her stocking.') 



60 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

TONEY (as they bus.). Hold on, Pa. 

HoBBES {outside). 1 can't hold her, Toney, she's got to go. 

Miss Prue {jvith a shriek from behind women). Ohe hun- 
dred and twenty-five ! 

Toney {calling off). One hundred and twenty-five, Pa. 

HoBBES {outside, as Toney comes down to Miss Prue and 
gets the fnoney and they all stand breathless listening to 
HoBBEs). One hundred and twenty-five dollars. Going at 
one hundred and twenty-five dollars — once — twice — three 
times. Gents, this hoss is sold. 

Toney {taking the money and running out L. u. E.). It's 
ours ! Black Bess is saved ! She's saved ! \^Exit. 

PIuL. {^getting up and going L. with materials). I think dot 
ankle do good mit himself now. 

Herr p. {going R.). I take back zee hniment, Huldaih. 

[Exit. 

HuL. Ja. I go fix myself a bit. 

Three W. (after an instant). One moment. We wish to 
thank you for your kindness. 

HuL. (going out L.). Dot's good. I do it again mit pleas- 
ure. \^Exit. 

Miss Prue. Well, it beats me. 

Miss Prouty. And me, too. 

Miss Pross. I declare, I can't get over it. 

Miss Prue. And neither can L But what kills me is ter 
think that Pve even gone so far as ter buy er hoss. 

Miss Prouty. Yes, we all of us are freaks ! 

Miss Pross. Well, we can lay it to that railroad accident. 
It gave me such er jolt I shan't get over it for days. 

Toney (entering l. u. e.). You told me you Uved fifteen 
mile beyond here ? 

Three W. Yes. 

Toney. Would yer know the way ? 

Three W. Certainly. 

Toney. I've had the Herr Professor hitch up Black Bess in 
er rig ter take yer home. 

Three W. (delighted). Take us home? 

Toney (doubtfully). But the only thing we could find ter 
hitch the hoss up in ter take yer home is the band wagon. 

Three W. (aghast, with a shriek). Band wagon ! 

Miss Prouty. Oh — oh, what would the neighbors say ter 
us comin' home in a band wagin ? 

Miss Prue (tveakly). They'll think we beat the band ! 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 6l 

Miss Pross. They've got brass enough ! 

ToNEY. Then you'll go? 

Three W. Yes. 

ToNEY {as they reach door up c). Say, if er show er this 
kind ever comes inter your vicinity again 

Three VV. (at door ///>). We'll every one of us go. 

\_Exeiint. 

ToNEY [sighi?ig and sitting down on the drwn, a?id then 
after an instant). Wal, and they hurt my little gal and made 
her cry. {An instant^ and then quietly.) I guess my little 
gal wouldn't er-wanled me ter do any different. 

{The voice of Hobbes is heard outside l. u. e.) 

HoBBES. Wal, we're all sold out, now. Did any one ever 
see such luck? {Enters l. u. e., comes down and sits de- 
jected on trunk c. Takes off his hat and lets rain water run 
off. Watches it dejectedly.) Leakin' outside and leakin' in. 
I can't do nothin' ter stop it. I'm just plumb broke this time. 
I'm just down and out, I am. 

ToNEY {taho is mending a sock). No, you ain't. Pa Hobbes. 

Hobbes. That sounds just like you, Toney. But what's er 
feller ter do when his head aches, his back aches, his legs 
ache, and he aches all over all the time tryin' to pull himself 
out er this hole? Why not give up and quit? 

Toney. Because it ain't in yer. Pa Hobbes. 

Hobbes. Wal, I never thought it was, Toney. But, say, 
I've had so much bad luck, lately, I ain't quite myself, Toney. 
Right straight erlong times has gone from bad ter worse ever 
since we skun out er that bloomin' village where we left Star- 
light. But what sticks me is, why don't them folks get on our 
trail ? Yer can see our trail clear back there as plain as day. 
First Madam Bonnelli died and left her mark ; then two 
waggins broke down and we had ter leave them. Then it 
began ter rain again out er sympathy, I s'pose, and it's wept 
steady ever since. But that ain't givin' me no clue as ter why 
that hard, graspin', miserable human bankin' machine let us 
steal off that lot. Say, Toney, p'r'aps Matthew Sterling thinks 
we're liavin' it hard ernoncrh as it is? 

Toney. He's got no brain ter think, only a workin' appa- 
ratus, that's run by money. When the money stops comin' in, 
it'll go ter his brain, and he'll take the natural course of events 
and leave his mark, as you say, and it won't be no different 
than any one's else. No matter if it's er dog. 



62 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

HoBBES. But that ain't gettin' at the subject in deebate. 
There's only three of us left. 

ToNEV. Can't yer git up somethin' with three? 

HoBBES. Toney, 1 don't see how. We can't pull out. 
There ain't any one left ter take down my tents even. But I 
ain't er-goin' ter worry erbout that. They'll come down when 
they're soaked. They'll have ter. But, Toney, we can't give 
er show noway without Starlight, and charge er quarter fer it. 
Now, if we only had Starlight 

Toney. Yes. I reckon p'r'aps it'll be er trifle lonesome 
without Starlight. 

{^The curtains are throtvn apart i.. u. E., and Star, bursts 
into the tent with a glad cry. She is dressed in her Col- 
umbine' s dress of the first act, but it is torn and ragged, 
her stockings are torn and her hair is down in a tangled 
mass, and there are dandelions and buttercups caught 
here and there in it. She makes a very picturesque figure 
in spite of her bedraggled appearance. The two men ex- 
claim.) 

Star, {entering). Toney, I've found you at last ! I've 
found you ! (She buries herself in Toney's cjnbrace.) Oh, 
Toney, I thought I'd never catch up with you, and I'm so glad 
to see you both again. Aren't you glad to see me, Toney ? 

Toney. {holding her). Yas, pet, we be glad ter see yer. 

HoBBES. Wal, you bet. We needn't bust up the show 
now, Toney. Did any one ever see such luck ? 

Toney (who has been holding Star, off and scrutinizing 
her). But what made yer dress up in them clothes ter come 
and see us, pet ? 

Star, (eagerly). I wanted to, Toney. I wanted to. I 
wanted to make believe that I was a gypsy. Toney, I've run 
away. 

(Toney starts but utters no sound, and through all the fol- 
loiving scene he sits staring before him lost in troubled 
thought, and Star, runs on unconsciously.) 

HoBBES. Run erway? 

Star. Yes. Toney, I couldn't stand it there any longer. 
I found that bundle you left with all my pretty things in it, 
and I wanted you and Pa and Hulda. I wanted the life that 
I loved and was used to. I — I couldn't stay there and die, 
Toney. So I tore off those hateful clothes and put on my 



THE SAWDUST qUKIiN 63 

Columbine dress — the dress you made, Toney, and the gay 
ribbons you loved, Toney, and I stole out and ran away. 

HoBBES. Did any one ever see such luck? 

Star. But, oh, it was great fun, Toney ! You don't know 
what a lovely time I've had playing gypsy. I've climbed 
fences and ran races and waded in brooks and fished and slept 
in the woods and in the haystacks, and once in a lovely downy 
bed tliat belonged to an old lady who said that she wanted a 
liltle gypsy just like me; but I couldn't stay and be her little 
gypsy. I've milked cows and done chores and tended babies 
and kept house and even taught Sunday-school. 

HoBBES {aghast). What ! 

Star. Oh, I could. I did it from some of the things 
Cousins taught me. We held it in the grove where I was. 
You see, it was a Sunday-school picnic. They frightened me 
and I ran into the woods to get away from them, and they saw 
me and chased me, and when they found I was a gypsy they 
made me tell them their fortunes and Bible stories. Oh, it was 
delicious, Toney. You don't know how I enjoyed it all, and 
they did too. 

HoBBES. Did any one ever see such luck ? 

Star. Then I had rides part of the way in wagons. Oh, 
those rides, Toney — and then I walked. 

HoBBES (^aghast). Walked ! 

Star. Yes ; but not very far, for when I'd get tired I'd 
just sit down by the roadside, and pretty soon a team would 
come along with a man in it, and somehow he'd manage to see 
me, and he'd smile, and I'd smile, and then he'd lift his cap, 
or, if he didn't know how to do that, he'd pull it and say, 
"Howdy," and I'd say, "Howdy," and then he'd blush, and 
I'd blush, and then he'd ask me what I was doing sitting there 
by the road, and when I told him I didn't know he'd ask me 
so politely if I didn't want to ride as far as his Aunt Susan's. 
And then I'd get in and we'd ride and ride and ride; but his 
Aunt Susan lived a great way off it seemed to me. But I 
didn't care as long as he was taking me nearer to you every 
minute, Toney. Then when we reached his Aunt Susan's, hi M 
help me down, oh, so politely, and drive up another road, :i)i.l 
I'd walk along the road until it came time to sit down again. 
Oh, it was such fun, Toney. 

HoBBES. But what did yer have ter eat all this while? 

Star. Oh, if I couldn't tend the baby, or wash dishes, or 
do chores, I'd eat the wood berries. 



64 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

HoBBES {aghast). What? 

Star. Oh, it's been a dream, Toney. I've been free to do 
as I please, and no one to tell me horrid, hateful things. I've 
been my own self, once more, and I've been so happy, so very, 
very happy. And now I'm back, and one of you again. I'm 
your own little girl again, Toney. 

HuBBES. She'll stay, of course, won't she, Toney? 

{A pause, a?id thenS) 

Star. Toney, you don't speak ! 

Toney {quietly ; with an effort). I — I ain't got anythin' 
ter say. 

HoBBES. Wal, you've been er long time sayin' it. 

Toney. But I've been doin' er pile er thinkin'. 

HoBBES {sudde7ily). Wal, I'll be blowed, that makes me 
think. {He goes quickly out "l. u. e.) 

Star, {an instant and tlieu, timidly). Thinking, Toney ? 

Toney. Yes, and it appears ter me the only thing ter do, 
now that you've found us, is fer you ter go back. 

Star, {with a cry, breaking dozvn). Toney ! You don't 
mean it? Don't send me back there ! Don't send me back 
there ! 

Toney. Well, you've had your lark. You've romped and 
played gypsy, and kited eround the country on teams with 
Aunt Susan's nephews and the Lord knows whose, fer almost 
er week. You've taught Sunday-school one minute and tended 
babies the next. You've washed dishes and milked cows 
tergether 

Star, {sobbing). Yes, Toney, yes ! 

Toney. And you've had er good chance ter let out that 
pent-up, high-strung spirit inside yer, pet, which yer was tryin' 
so hard ter make quit. And 

Star, {hysterically). But I can't go back there, Toney ! 
Oh, you don't know, Toney ! You don't know what a life it 
is for your little girl, or you wouldn't be so cruel, so cruel. 

Toney. There, there, pet, you hold on ter yerself er min- 
ute while we reason it out, I ain't cruel. I'm just. I'm alUis 
thinkin' er your interest before I git along ter mine. You know 
that ! 

Star, {sobbing). Yes, Toney, yes. 

Toney. And it seems to me that back there is the place fer 
yer ter be. You know you're gettin' big now; you're gettin' 
out er the cunnin' age ; you're geitin' out er yer gal's petticoats 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 65 

inter longer ones; and this kind er life ain't the kind er life fer 
you ter be in, pet. 

Star. Toney ! 

ToNEY. Yer see I've thought it all over, pet. It's kept me 
arvvake nights thinkin'. I wanted ter keep yer with me, but I 

knew I was standin' in the way o' your interest and It'll 

cost an awful lot fer me ter let yer go, pet. Ter let yer go. 

Star. Toney, Toney, I — I'll go back. 

Toney. There, pet, you really make me happy. You see 
it ain't so bad, pet, that it mightn't be worse. 

Star. I know. 

Toney. So dry yer eyes and smile yer own self ergin, and 
make your Toney glad he's livin'. 

Star. I will, Toney, I will. I'll make you happy. I'll 
make you happy always. For I'll go back there and stay, and 
never, never leave them again. 

Toney. That's right, pet. (^Takes her in his arms?) 
You're Toney's little gal after all. After all. 

HoBBES {looking into the tent L. u. E.). Say, it's stopped 
rainin' and the sun's comin' out. Did any one ever see such 
luck? 

Toney. That's good, pet, for yer can go back to-day. 

Star. A — alone, Toney? 

Toney. No, I'll go with yer. 

Star, {ivith a cry of delight). Toney ! 

Toney. And we'll play gypsy all the way back. But I 
don't know erbout them rides, pet. Yer see, it makes er dif- 
ference havin' er man erlong. But, anyhow, you tell 'em I'm 
your deaf and dumb uncle, and they'll put me in behind. 

Star, {embracing hii?i). Oh, Toney, you dfear, good, kind 
Toney. 

Toney. But this won't do, pet. We've got ter have an at- 
tractive gypsy if we're goin' ter make er bid fer them rides, and 
you're all rags and tatters. I never did see such er sight. 

Star. And just look at my hands with the berry stains ! 
And, oh, Toney, the briars did scratch so. 

Toney. You go and git Hulda ter dress you up real pretty, 
and then we'll start. 

Star, {going l., and calling as she ri^ns out). Hulda! 
Hulda ! It's I, Starlight ! I've come back ! I've come 
back ! {^Exit, l. 

{An instant while Toney sits thotightfully, and then.) 



66 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

ToNEY. Yes, you have come back — and I'm proud of you 
fer doin' of it, too. 

{An automobile is heard approaching. A bang, accompanied 
by a cry from Hobbes outside, and Ned rushes breath- 
lessly into t/ie tent in automobile dress, l. u. e.) 

Ned. Oh, it is you, sir! Where's Starlight? Have you 
seen Starhght? 

Tonev. What makes yer ask me ? 

Ned. Because she's left us. She ran away that night I 
went to tell her. I've followed and hunted everywhere, but I 
can't find her, sir. I can't find her ! 

ToNEY. I don't see how yer could in that devil waggin. 
Wasn't yer legs good ernough ? 

Ned. But I was too eager to find her, sir. I couldn't wait 
after what I'd heard. You know all about that, sir. 

ToNEY. I only know that if yer'd trusted ter your pins you 
wouldn't er been so long gittin' here. 

Ned. That's so ; we did have a rocky time of it. 

ToNEY. We ? 

Ned. Yes, the machine and I. 

ToNEY. H'm. You've got the machine alone, have yer? 

Ned. Yes. 

ToNEY. Is there room ernough fer ernother? 

Ned. Yes. Do you want to go along and hunt for Star- 
light? 

ToNEY. I think I know er party that wouldn't mind goin' 
vvith me. 

Ned. I don't think there would be room enough for three, 
sir. 

ToNEY. Oh, it's one er them spooin' go-carts. 

Ned. Oh, come now, sir. 

ToNEY. I guess I ain't goin' in them things. 

Ned. But don't you know where Starlight is? 

ToNEY. Ain't yer seen her? 

Ned. I've strained my eyes looking over fences and stone 
walls, and across fields 

ToNEY. And lookin' every place but straight ahead of yer. 
Don't yer know er woman never goes them ways? Did yer 
ever see a woman behind er fence, stone wall or across er 
field ? 

Ned. No 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 67 

TONEY. Of course not. That ain't where you'll find 'em. 
It ain't human natur' fer er woman ter git behind anythin'. 
She wants ter be there, riglit out in plain sight, showin' off with 
all her best duds on 

Ned (^laughing). 1 say, sir, you're a trump. 

(S/aJ>s him on tlie back.) 

ToNEY. No, I ain't. I'm er man like you be, only I'm a 
heap sight grayer and wiser; and p'rhaps, after all, I'm 
younger. 

Ned. How you talk, sir. 

ToNEY. No, I'm just fiUin' up time till 

HOBBES {heard outside). Wal, all I can say is, you just 
wait outside here, and I'll git it. Did any one ever see such 
luck? (Zr<? enters L. u. e., and comes down. He is greatly 
distressed and embarrassed.) Toney ! Toney ! It's come. 

ToNEY. What? 

HoBBES. The writ. 

Toney. What writ? 

HoBBES. Ter plank me in jail. 

Toney. What yer goin' ter do erbout it? 

HoBBES. That's the rub, Toney. I ain't got no money, not 

er cent, and — and I — I It came inter my mind, Toney, 

that p'rhaps I might borrer some of that five hundred you of- 
fered me before, long ernough, anyhow, ter keep him off till we 
git ercross the line 



Toney. Well — well, yer see. Pa 
HoBBES. Yas, it's all plain ernough 



Toney. I went and — and {Suddenly. ) Say, let's 

look at that writ. 

HoBBES. I ain't got it. 

Toney. 'WHiohas? 

HoBBES. That man of Matthew Sterhng's. 

Toney. Silas Hankum ? 

HoBBES. Yas, and he's waitin' outside now. Waitin' fer 
his money, and I ain't got it. I never did set down quite so 
close ter the bars before. Did any one ever see such luck ? 
What yer thinkin' of, Toney ? 

Toney. I'm thinkin' if you'd better risk it. 

HoBBES. Risk what, Toney? I'd risk anythin' rather than 
do time. W^hat's ter become er me, Toney ? 

Toney. You git. 

HoBBES. But how can I git ? 



68 THE SAV/DUST QUEEN 

ToNEY. There's that dromedary. 

HoBBES {(iistressed'). But, Toney, I can't ride him. 

ToNEY. Why not ? 

HoBBES. But I don't know how. I ain't never rode on a 
dromedary in all my hfe and I don't want to. I don't even 
know how ter git on. Why, I'd have ter git er ladder and 
climb on, Toney. And then I'd be backside to. And — and 
think er me er-ridin' er dromedary. And holdin' on ter his 
what yer call it. 

Toney. Wal, that's the only thing we've got that walks 
that you can '' git " on to ! 

Hobbes. But that don.'t walk, Toney. I don't know what 
it does, but I can imagine it. Oh, Toney, I shall be so sick ! 

Toney. There ain't no other way but 

Hobbes (j/pset^. Doin' time? No, anythin' but that, 
Toney. Anythin' but that. I'll do it. I'll do it, Toney. 
I'll git erway on the dromedary. Did any one ever see such 
luck? 

{He goes up l. u. e.) 

Toney. Don't go there. If yer step outside that tent 
you're er goner. 

Hobbes. How '11 I go, Toney ? 

Toney. Go through my dressin' tent. (^Goes r.) I'll go 
with yer and start yer goin'. 

Hobbes {coming doivii). Don't kick the critter too hard, 
Toney ; he's er wind chaser when he gits started. 

Toney. You be sure ter keep this tent between you 
and 

Hobbes. Doin' time? 

Toney. Yas. 

Hobbes {as they go out r.). But, Toney, if I do that I 
can't see unless I ride backwards, and how can I hold on 

Toney. Like time. 

Hobbes {as they go out). Did any one ever see such lu( k ? 

\_Exeu7it Toney and Hobbes, k. 

{An instant while Ned sits down overcome iiuth langldc?- 
and the?!, the curtains part L. and Star, runs in. She is 
dressed effectively. Ned rises with a cry and they are in 
each other s arms.') 

Ned. Starlight ! 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 69 

Star. Ned ! 

Ned. I've found you at last ! 

Star. Yes, Ned, dear, and just in time to take me back 
with you. 

Ned. You will come back with me? 

Star. Yes, Ned ; and Toney is going, too. 

Ned {/lo/di/ig her). Oil, I've hunted and hunted, and now 
that I've found you, dear, don't ever leave me again. 

Star. But I must, Ned. I must go away to school. 

Ned. No, you must marry me. 

Star. Marry you, Ned ? 

Ned. Yes, for you are not my sister. 

Star. Ned ! 

Ned. Toney has told me all about it, and father says it is 
true. So, dear, you can marry me after all. 

Star. I don't quite see 

Ned. You will, dear, for you do love me ? 

Star. Yes, yes, more than I can say. More than I can 
feel. You see, Ned, I've loved you all the time; even if you 
were my brother, it didn't seem to change my heart at all. I 
wanted just you all the time as you want me, dear. But oh, 
Ned, I don't want to go to school now and leave you. 

Ned. Perhaps father will let us be married before you go, 
even if you are under age. 

Star. No, he Oh, Ned, you know what father is. 

Ned. He's changed a whole lot since you saw him last, 
and things are different at home. 

Star. Different? How could they be any different? 

Ned. Well, you see the night you bolted, the three cousins 
went into father's room and threw up the sponge. 

Star. I — I don't understand. 

Ned. Well, they quit. They couldn't stand it any longer. 
You did them up. 

Star. No, Ned, they did me. 

Ned. Well, I'll bet 'a thousand dollars you're better off 
than they are, if they did do you up. At any rate, they packed 
their duds and cleared out and left father in the lurch. You 
see he had to get some one, and he hit on Miss Johana John- 
son. Oh, Starlight, she's the best woman in the world 

Star. After me, Ned ? 

Ned. But you're my promised wife now, and I can afford 
to talk about other women. 

Star, {^laughing). Oh, Ned. 



70 THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

Ned. Yes, Miss Johana's a wuiider, for she's really made 
father laugh, dear. He hasn't laughed like that in years. 

Star. Oh, Ned, I want to go back. I want to go back to 
father ! 

Ned. You shall, sweetheart. 

Star, {in his embrace). Take me to him, Ned ! Take me 
to him ! 

( They are startled by a yell outside and Silas bursts ex- 
citedly into the tent l. u. e. aiid cotnes down.) 

Silas. Hi, thar goes er dromedary like two ships careenin' 
and my man on it lookin' like a nigger scared white. 

ToNEY {entering \..). Well, what of it ? 

Silas. I got er writ against him. 

ToNEY. Why didn't you serve it on Massachusetts soil? 

Silas. I did. 

ToNEY. No, you didn't. 

Silas. Do yer mean ter tell me this ain't Massachusetts? 

ToNEY. I reckon we're in Connecticut now. 

Silas. Connecticut? You ain't goin' ter fool me like that. 

ToNEY. Foolin' or no foolin', I didn't keep the dormitory 
in that college across the road last winter and not know how 
far the line extends. You see the college is in Massachusetts 
and Connecticut, too — sets plum on the line, straddles it so ter 
speak ; and they've been fightin' fer years ter git inter one 
state and out of the other, till they don't know where they're 
at. And now yer in Connecticut. And how can you serve 
the writ anyway when I paid the bill? 

Silas. You paid the bill? Where's your receipt? {^As 
ToNEY shows sajne.) Wal, yer a darn sight more human than 
I'd er given yer credit fer. 

ToNEY {quietly). Yes, I'm er freak. 

Silas. Matthew Sterling never told me about yer payin', 
in fact I ain't seen him since the night before when he told me 
he was goin' ter foreclose, so I took the responsibility of lookin' 
yer up when yer kited. 

(HuL. is heard laughing uproariously out L. An instant 
and then she comes in convulsed.) 

HuL. Say, is dot Pa Hobbes on der dromedary ? 

ToNEY. Yas. 

HuL. Say, dot dromedary he's got tired of runnin' away 



THE SAWDUST qUEEN 7I 

mit himself and Pa, and now he's doin' circles mit himself, and 
Pa's 

ToNEV. Doin' time ? 

HuL. {f'oaring). All ofer himself! {Suddenly goes ont "L. 
At entrance.) Ach Himmel, but it is er scream ! \_Exit, 

Silas (discovering Star.)- By gum, it ain't 

Star. Yes, Mr. Hankum, it's 1, Starlight— Helen Slerhng. 
I'm going back home to school, and then 1 shall marry Ned. 

Ned. And I can't wait any longer. Let's go back. {Goes 
up L. u. E.) Come out, Silas, and help me fix up my bang up 
wagon. There's another seat. \_Exeunt, L. u. e. 

Silas {as they go out). By gum, I'd like ter git a peak at 
that dromedary cake walk anyhow. \_Extt. 

(ToNEY and Star, alone.) 

ToNEY {after an instant). Well, pet, I reckon things ain't 
quite so bad as you thought they was er-goin' ter be after all ? 

Star. No— no, Toney, and I'm happy. I'm so happy and 
you are too, aren't you, Toney? 

Ned {outside; heard firing up the machine). Come, you 
two, get a move on in there ! 

Toney. And I reckon now things have come out as they 
have that you won't need me in the machine goin' back. 

Star, {frightened). Not need you, Toney ? 

Toney (quietly). You see there ain't room with Silas. So 
I'm goin' over across the road and strike fer er job tendin' that 
dormitory ergin. 

Star, {with a cry). Oh, Toney ! You won t go back 

with me? • n t 1 tm 

Toney {as she throivs her arms about him). 1 reckon i a 
better not this trip. You can see me anyhow often, fer I ain't 
so far erway, pet. And then, p'r'aps if Matthew Sterling is 
changin' so, I can come and see yer and stay a spell ; fer 1 can 
fergive him er good deal easier than he can fergive me, as most 
folks who ain't done nothin' can. 

Star, {drawing him to her). Yes, yes, Toney. You 11 
come soon. I want you, Toney. 

Toney. And you'll always love me, pet ? 

Star, (as he embraces her). Always. 

Toney. My little gal. My dear, sweet, real httle gal. 

{They are in each other's embrace at curtain.) 



New Plays 



PLAIN PEOPLE 

A Comedy Drama in Four Acts 

By Dana J. Steve7is 
Five males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, \vio interiors. 
Plays a full evening. A strong and human piece full of humorous char- 
acter drawing and sympathetic interest. The cast is very even in oppor- 
tunity, and all the parts are good. A great play for a good club, and a 
sure winner. Strongly recommended. Free for amateur performance. 
Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 
Ezra Bromley, storekeeper. 
Almira Bromley, houseivife. 
Martin Jasper Bromley, college ?nan. 
Liza Liz Hankins, brat. 
Judge Jotham Marley, Christian. 
Melissy VY ATKINS, elderly maiden. 
Jonas ]k\\\\qq¥., farmer. 
Belindy Jarrock, seamstress. 
Hiram Curtis Peck, seller. 
April Blossom, help. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act L — Sitting-room behind Ezra Bromley's store. Morning. 

Act IL — The same. Some clays later. 

Act III. — At the Jarrocks'. Some weeks later. 

Act IV. — At the Bromley s'. Later in the evening. 

FOOLING FATHER 

A Comedy in One Act 
By R. M. Robinson 
Three males. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays thirty 
minutes. A clever little play easily done and very effective. The boys 
arrange a little burglary just to show the old gentleman what heroes they 
are, but somehow things do not turn out right for the hero part. Can be 
recommended. Price, /j" cents 

AT THE JUNCTION 

A Farce in One Act 

By Charles S. Bird. 
Three males, two females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an easy interior. 
Plays thirty minutes. A bright and vivacious little farce for two young 
couples and a comic station agent, very easy and effective. All the parts 
are first rate, and that of the station agent is a corker. Can be strongly 
recommended. Priccy /j cents 



New Piays 



COUSIN KATE 

A Comedy in Three Acts 

By Hubert Henry Davies 

Three males, four females. Costumes modern ; scenery, two easy in- 
teriors. Plays two hours and a half. One of the most dehghtful comedies 
of recent years, made widely and favorably known through the admirable 
performance of the leading role by Miss Ethel Barrymore. The inimitable 
spirit with which the scenes between Miss Barrymore and Mr. Bruce 
Mc Crae were played returns inevitably to haunt the imaginative reader 
of the lines of this play. Sold for reading only ; acting rights strictly re- 
served. 

Price J JO cents 

CHARACTERS 
Heath Desmond, an artist. Mrs. Spencer, a widow. 
Rev. James Bartlett, a Amy Spencer, her daughter. 

clergyman. Jane, a servant. 

Bobby Spencer, « 5^/^^^/(^^/. Cousin Kate Curtis, a «d?z/^/«/. 



MRS. GORRINGE^S NECKLACE 

A Play in Four Acts 

By Hubert Henry Davies 

Five males, five females. Costumes modern ; scenery, a single interior. 
Plays two hours and a half An admirable play of strong dramatic interest 
presenting a cast of characters imagined, drawn and contrasted with un- 
usual skill and effect. The piece is well known in the United States 
through the memorable performance of the leading lady character by Miss 
Mary Moore supporting Mr. Charles Wyndham. To such as remember 
that admirable performance of an admirable play, the reading of the text 
will be full of reminiscent pleasure. Sold for reading only ; acting rights 
strictly reserved. 

Price, JO cents 

CHARACTERS 

Capt. Mowbray, reti^-ed. Mrs. Jardine. 

Col. Jardine, retired. Isabel Kirke ) her 

Lieut. David Cairn. Vicky Jardine ) daughters^ 

Mr. Jernigan, a detective in- Miss Potts. 

spector. Mrs. Gorringe. 
Charles, a footman. 



Novelties 



HOW THE CLUB WAS FORMED 

An Entertainment in Three Scenes 

By Mrs. O. W. Gleason 

Author of'*Hozu the Story GreiUy' **J Modern 
Sewing Society," etc. 

Eighteen females. Costumes modern ; scenery unimportant. Plays 
one and a half hours. A humorous skit on the Woman's Club suited for 
performance by either young or middle-aged women. Full of points and 
chances for local hits and thus a sure laugh-maker. Parts well dis- 
tributed; can be recommended. 

Price, i^ cents 

A MOTHERS' MEETING 

An Entertainment in One Scene 

By Arlo Bates 

Author of ''A Business Meeting,''* '*A Gentle Jury,** "An 

Interrupted Proposal,'' **Her Deaf Ear,'* etc. 

Ten females. Costumes modern ; scenery unnecessary. Plays thirty 
minutes. A good-humored and amusing satire of this institution suited 
for performance by middle-aged as well as young ladies. Can be made 
very amusing by the introduction of local points, as in all such entertain- 
ments. All the parts are good and of nearly equal opportunity. Well 
recommended. 

Price, 75 cejits 

MAIDS OF ALL NATIONS 

An Entertainment in One Scene 

By Maude Bin^bank 

Author of ''A Pan of Fudge'' etc. 

Fifteen females, one male. Costumes of the nations ; scene, the usual 
tableau arrangements. A pleasant variation of the " Bachelor's Reverie " 
introducing fifteen pretty girls in the costumes of as many nations. Plays 
thirty minutes. Recommended for its simplicity and picturesqueness. Its 
one male character may speak or not, as preferred, and may be played by 
a girl if desired. 

Price, 75 cents 



New Plays 



THE TIME OF HIS LIFE 
A Comedy in Three Acts 

By C. Leon a Dalrynple 
Six males, three females. Costumes modern ; scenery, two interiors, 
or can be played in one. Plays two hours and a half. A side-splitting 
piece, full of action and a sure success if competently acted. Tom Car- 
ter's little joke of impersonating the colored butler has unexpected con- 
sequences that give him "the time of his life." Very highly recom- 
mended for High School performance. 

Price, 25 cents 

CHARACTERS 

Mr. Bob Grey. 

Mrs, Bob Grey. 

Tom Carter, Mrs, Grey's brother, 

Mrs. Peter Wycombe, a " personage.'** 

Mr. Peter Wycombe, a "pessimist " with a digestion, 

Dorothy Landon, secretly efigaged to Tom Carter, 

Mr. James Landon, Sr., Dorothy's father ; of a peppery disposition. 

Uncle Tom, aft old colored butler from the South, 

Officer Hog an, of the Twenty- Second Street Police Station, 

EETHER OR EYTHER 
A Farce in One Act 

By Robert C, V. Meyers 
Four males, four females. Costumes modern ; scene, an interior. Plays 
thirty minutes. A clever parlor play, similar in idea to the popular " Ob- 
stinate Family." Sure to please. 

Price, 75 cejits 

THE MORNING AFTER THE PLAY 

A Comedy in One Act 

By Willis Steell 
Two males, three females. Costumes modern ; scene, an interior. 
Plays twenty minutes. An easy piece of strong dramatic interest, orig- 
inally produced in Vaudeville by Christy Clifford. Free to amateurs? 
royalty required for professional performance. 
Price^ 15 cents 



New Plays 



OUR WIVES 

A Farce in Three Acts 
By Anthony E. Wills 

Seven males, four females. Costumes, modem ; scenery, two interiors. 
Plays two hours and a lialf. A bustling, up-to-date farce that deserves the 
rather worn description of " side-splitting." Full of movement and action ; 
all tire parts good and effective ; easy to produce ; just the thing for an ex- 
perienced amateur club and hard to spoil, even in the hands of less prac- 
tical players. Free for amateur performance. 
Price, 2^ cenis 

CHARACTERS 

RoswELL Chandler, a retired mere hatit. (Old Man.) 

Walter Blair, his son-in-law. (Comedy Lead.) 

Oscar Siebel, a composer. (German.) 

Lloyd Deveaux, a chronic invalid. (Character Old Man.) 

John Stanton, a detective. (Comedy.) 

Mallory, a reporter. (Comedy.) 

Ford, aji expressman. (Utility.) 

Gilda Deveaux, wife of Deveaux. (Lead.) 

Mrs. Chandler, wife of Roswell. (Old Lady.) 

Beattie Blair, wife of Walter. (Straight.) 

Julia, a French maid. (French.) 

THE PACKING OF THE HOME MIS- 
SIONARY BARREL 

An Entertainment in One Scene 
By Mrs. HeJiry A. Hallo ck 
Ten females. Costumes, modern ; scenery unimportant. Plays thirty 
minutes. One of those little satires of feminine ways that are so popular 
even with the ladies ; very shrewd and effective, but perfectly good-na- 
tured. An assured success and very easy to get up. Strongly recom- 
mended. 

Price J Zj cents 

THE BARGAIN COUNTER 

A Farce in Three Scenes 

By Grace Moody 
Five females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays thirty 
minutes. A bright little piece satirizing that institution so dear to the fem- 
inine heart — "the bargain counter." Full of good-natured fun; can be 
recommended. 

jprice, 75 cents 



New Plays 



A MASQUE OF CULTURE 

By Ajmie Eliot Trumbull 

Two male, ten female characters. Costumes, classical ; scenery, un- 
important. Plays about an hour and a half. A reprint of this clever and 
widely known satire. It deals with ladies and gentlemen well known in 
historical society, and discusses them with abundant wit and humor. Con- 
fucius and Socrates are summoned by Minerva to a convention of ladies, 
equally well known to literature, held in Boston. They return to the 
Shades and to Minerva with a depressing account of these ladies and their 
transactions. Ideally suited for the use of schools and ladies' clubs both 
by its subject and its admirable treatment. Can easily be played by 
women only if desired, and can be gotten up with very little trouble or 
expense. 

Pricey 2^ cents 

ROMANTIC MARY 

By Alice C. Thompson 

Four males, four females. Three acts ; costumes modern ; scenery two 
easy interiors, or can be played in one. Plays two hours. A very pretty 
and effective piece, high in tone and very amusing. A haunted house 
and a very polite and considerate ghost contribute a pleasing mixture of 
humor and excitement to a very well-balanced cast of characters. All the 
parts good. An easy piece, well lecommended. 
Frice^ 75 cents 

A HOLE IN THE FENCE 

By Esther B, Tiffany 

Four males, three females. Two acts ; costumes modern ; scenery, an 
exterior — a garden. Plays an hour. A farcical comedy of high class, 
very amusing and not difficult. Irish, Negro and Swedish comedy char- 
acter, ; all the parts effective. Can be strongly recommended to the best 
tastft. 

Price, 2S cents 

THE UNDOING OF JOB 

By John Sto?ie 

Three males, four females. Three acts ; costumes modern ; scenery, 
a single interior. Plays an hour and a quarter. An amusing comedy 
with a small but well-balanced cast, high in tone, and strongly recom- 
mended for drawing-room performance, as it is easy and effective and can 
be produced under the simplest conditions. Professional acting rights 
ceseived. Price, 2$ cents 



New Entertainments 



ALL THE YEAR ROUND 
A Series of Entertainments for Every 
Month in the Year 
By Harriette Wilbur 
A collection of sixteen pretty and graceful entertainments for children 
of various ages and both sexes in a variety of combinations, written by an 
experienced teacher of the young, and intended to meet the wants of oilier 
teacliers ni quest of material suited to their needs. Some attention is 
given to ail the generally observed holidays and anniversaries, and for 
the more popular of these more than one entertainment is provided. The 
ideas are pretty and, it is believed, their working out entirely practicable. 
Costumes called for are easily arranged, and full descriptions are given 
when necessary, as well as music and illustrative diagrams to aid in work- 
ing out the drills and marches. 

Price, 2S cents 

CONTENTS 
'• Happy New Year " {six boys, six girls and a little child ). 
The Rail Splitters {twelve small bop^. 
Valentines {six girls and six boys, or tzve he girls), 
George and Martha Washington [six boys and six gtrls). 
The March Hare {eight boys). 
April Weather {four boys and four girls). 
May Flowers {fourteen little girls). 
"June Time " {fourteen girls). 
A Firecracker Drill ( ten small boys). 
The Stars and Stripes {sixteen girls). 
Labor Day {six boys and chorus). 
" Berries Red " {ten little girls). 
Autumn Leaves {eight little girls). 
The First Thanksgiving {twelve small boys). 
Christmas Bells {nine small boys). 
A Winter Night's Frolic {tzvelve small boys), 

BROTHER DAVE 

A Play in One Act 

By Willis St cell 

One male, two females. Costumes modern ; scene, an interior. Plays 

twenty minutes. A piece of very strong dramatic interest for a leading 

low comedian, originally produced in vaudeville by Sam Edwards. Free 

to amateurs ; royalty required for professional performance. 

Price, 13 ce?its 



Novelties 



SCENES IN A RESTAURANT 

An Entertainment in One Act 

By Jessie A. Kelley 

Author of ''Our Church Fair;' " The Village Post-Office T 

"Miss Prim s Kiiidej-garten,'' etc. 

Fifteen males, ten females. Costumes modern ; scenery unimportant 

Plays one hour. A humorous presentation of what happens every day in 

the average restaurant, hitting everybody right where ihey live. Sure to 

be popular. All parts good ; lots of incident and chances for local hits. 

Can be recommended. 

Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 



Mr. Jones, head waiter. 

feart I '"'■"■"-• 

Mr. Rice, a mean man. 

Mr. Foss, who has a plan. 

Mrs. Brett, 

Mrs. Dacey. 

Mrs. Slack, deaf, middle' aged, and stout. 

Miss Drew. 

Mr. Rich 1 



actors. 



Mrs. Smiley, an indulgent mother. 
Maud, her daughter; a spoiled child. 

Beggar. 

Mr. Delaney J ^^,.„„,„,,^,. 

Mr. Hazelton S 

Mr. Hall, a health crank. 

James, his servant. 

Mr. Monroe, a chronic kicker. 

Hiram Greenback, y;'o;« way back. 

Mary Ann, his wife. 

M^imS^y \rkMfron.Man4. 



Mr. Jackson 

Reuben Grass, from the country. 

Mandy Clover, his best girl. 

FUN IN A THEATRICAL OFFICE 

A Vaudeville Entertainment 

By Maravejte Ke7i72edy Tho7npson 

Seven males, sixteen females. Costumes modern ; scenery unimportant. 

Plays a full evening. A complete vaudeville entertainment in itself or can 

be used as the frame for other specialties ; a " go-as you-please " show, 

very elastic and adaptable to all places and circumstances. A big hit in 

its original performance. Strongly recommended. 

Price, 25 cents 

CHARACTERS 



Luke Loud, a theatrical agent. 
Bat, his office boy. 

Clara Vere De Vera, his stenographer. 
Orchestra Carr, his pianist. 

VAUDEVILLE ARTISTS 

Gentlemen 

Pietro De Bianaco. 

George Washington Lincoln. 

{an Getupangitski. 
leuben Haskins. 



Ladies 

Mrs. Susan Sufifreno Riser. 

Mrs. Trailing Arbutus Flower, and he% 

thirteen children. 
Miss Anise F.lderbloom. 
Frisky Dewdrop. 
Fluffy Flutter. 
Madame Syiva. 
Mrs. Rridgct Casey. 
Mrs. Rulethe Roost. 
Two ladies /o?- sketch introduced. 
Alme. Carmencita. 
" Peach " Ott. 
Ruby Ott. 
Goldie 1 

Birdie > the Coquette Sisterf, 
Queenie ) 






THP MAfil^Tff ATF F^^rce in Three Acts. Twelve males, four 
lllC iWAUlJllVAlC females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all 
interior. Plays two hours and a half. 

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITF ^■?"lJ:,,T,;„r,. 

Costumes, modern ; scenery, all interiors PI; ys a full evening. 

THP PPftFI MlATF Play in Four Acts deven males, five females. 
IflC riiWrMUAlIi gggjaery, three interiors, rather elaborate ; 
costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THP CrH AHI IWKTffP^^ Farce in Three Acts. Nine males, seven 
lUC JLUVULriUlJlALJJ females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, 

three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

TEE SECOND MRS. TANQCERAY ^'rC/vHer.:. ^?" 

tumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

QWPFT T A VFNHFP Comedy in Three Acts. Seven males, four 
JTtCCI L<AICllllCll females. Scene, a single interior; costumes, 

modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF TIIWFS Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 
inC lllUEJ Scene, a single interior; costumes, modern. Plays a 

full evening. 

THF WFA¥FR ^FY Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, eight 
1 UC TV CAHCn JEA fen^j^ieg Costumes, modern ; scenery, two 
interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE ^^^IZ.'^L^Z..^::, 

modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 



One copy del. to Cat. Div. 




LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 




017 401 470 P { 

Cije 5^illiam l^arren CUitton 
of ^laps 



AS YOII T IKF IT Comedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four 
nu IVt) Lti.n.L4 11 females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, va- 
ried. Plays a full evening. 

CAMITTF ^^^™^ i'^ Fi"^6 Acts. Nine males, five females. Cos- 
VAlTill^lviv tumes, modern ; scenery, varied. Plays a full evening. 

INfiOIUAP ^l^y i" I^^'^® Acts. Thirteen males, three females. 
lilUUiUiilV Scenery varied ; costumes, Greek. Plays a full evening. 

MARY STUART Tragedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four fe- 
iTiiiI\i t^lU/ilil males, and supernumeraries. Costumes, of the 
period ; scenery, varied and elaborate. Plays a full evening. 

TBE MERCHANT OF VENICE 'i^J^^^S^ §S?rs; 

ipicturesque ; scenery varied. Plays a full evening. 

RICHFI IFII ^^^^ ^° ^^^^ Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Scen- 



evenmg. 



ery elaborate ; costumes of the period. Plays a full 



THF RIVAT S comedy in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. 
1 lllv ill T AL/O Scenery varied ; costumes of the period. Plays a 
full evening. 

SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER ^^S^X'iS iSl^i'^J^^^^Z 

ried ; costumes of the period. Plays a full evening. 

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL "iSA^rlils: 

three females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, varied. Plays a 
full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Salter 1$. I3a6er & Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



• . i. PARKHILL A, OO.. PRINTERS. BOSTON. U.S.A. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 





017 401 470 A • 



